


I'll Save You From Yourself

by TomiShaped



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-02
Updated: 2014-11-02
Packaged: 2018-02-23 20:02:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 45,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2553815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TomiShaped/pseuds/TomiShaped
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom's been here for five years, hasn't spoken a word in eight and not a soul knows why. But Bill, the new kid who he is roomed with, is determined to know why, determined to make Tom talk, determined to know what his silent roommates voice sounds like. Tom is determined to get Bill away from him, no matter what.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**|| Tom’s POV ||**  
  
They say that you don’t remember anything before the age of five, maybe a few spasms of memories, but nothing serious. I can tell you that’s a lie, I remember a lot from before I was five. I remember everything after. I remember that when I was seven, I stopped talking. I don’t think I can talk anymore; I haven’t tried in eight years. I remembered when I was eight I was in a home with a lot of other kids after my dad died from drinking so much. I remember lashing out at one of them for doing something to me, that’s when I was brought here. I was ten. I’ve spent the last five years in this place, in my new home.   
  
It’s a mental hospital. For the first two years, I was worked with nearly every day. They tried to make me talk, I never made a sound. I didn’t cry at night like the other kids here did. I didn’t show emotion. I don’t think I have any emotions other then being annoyed and getting pissed at the idiots that get put in this place sometimes. They stopped working with me personally after my second year here though; I was a lost cause they thought. In my first week here, I had climbed a tree outside and fell out of the branches when I got too high and they could no longer support my weight. I broke my arm and had a long gash on my leg, I didn’t make a noise. I had limped over to one of the ladies who was supposed to be watching us outside and pointed to my leg with my arm that would obey me. She freaked out more then I had.   
  
Kids were freaked out by me; no one understood why I just acted like nothing was wrong with my arm sticking out at a weird angle. It hurt, I won’t lie, but things had hurt worse before. It’s always better if you don’t make a sound.   
  
When I was thirteen, I got in a fight with some kid who called me retarded. He was new in the home; he didn’t know any better like the other kids did. You just don’t mess with Tom. Talk to him, fine, he’ll stay silent and listen to you. But fuck with him and his anger gets the better of him. You won’t know he’s mad until his fist connects with some part of your body. I know I didn’t kill him, but no one has seen him since.   
  
I had one friend here, if you could even consider him that. His name was Georg, and he liked to talk. Which suited me just fine, he never expected me to answer him. He came here a year ago, brown hair that passed his ears and nearly touched his shoulder that always had to be perfect. He was here for self-mutilation and drug use. You couldn’t get the drugs locked up here, but if you want to hurt yourself, you’re going to find a way. I knew that Georg had his ways, he always told me. He knew I wouldn’t tell. That worked just fine for me, as long as he was alive, did it matter what he did to make himself feel better?  
  
No one knew why I could stand Georg around me when I couldn’t stand another person even looking at me for too long. To be honest, I didn’t understand it either. I think it’s because Georg just accepted the way I am and didn’t ask questions. ‘You don’t talk.’ He had said, it wasn’t a question, ‘Wicked.’ He said before he had sat next to me at lunch. He chattered away, I listened, but never made any notion that I was paying attention. He was probably the only person here who could get a reaction from me other then my fist in their face. After the first two months of not even looking at him, Georg got small things. A raise of a brow, a small nod if needed or even a shake of the head.  
  
But now I’m fifteen, I only know because they told me my birthday was today and I just turned it. They asked me if I wanted them to do anything special for it, they asked me that every year. I just gave them a blank stare and walked away to find Georg. Birthdays meant little to me. So I made it to be another year older, who honestly cares?  
  
Since it was my birthday, I was excused from all the things that were mandatory for me to do for the day. I didn’t do anything wrong, so I only had homework and group. I did my homework and went to group anyways. There was a new kid there today; he was the strangest kid I had ever laid eyes on. “Everyone, this is Bill. He’s new to our group so I’d like everyone to say hello and make him feel welcome here.” Lacy said, pointing to the newcomer in our group class. Everyone but me said hi and waved to him, Bill just grinned and waved back like a spastic child. I’m guessing he liked the attention. “Bill, would you like to tell everyone why you’re here?” Lacy asked him.  
  
Bill just gave a lopsided grin and flipped his puffy black hair over his shoulder and batted long eyelashes at her. “Sure,” he said, his voice was chipper and loud. It made me cringe. When Georg talked, it was always low, quieter, only I could hear him half the time. “Because the courts tell me I have to be.” Was his simple answer and Lacy frowned.   
  
“No, Bill. What did you do to get yourself sent here?” She asked him, trying to make it more clear for the teenage boy who couldn’t have been any older then me. Bill giggled behind his hand; he knew what she had meant. He obviously wasn’t stupid. He obviously didn’t want to answer her question though either.  
  
“No thanks,” He said, flashing her a grin that would probably make grown men melt, “I’d much rather not tell them why the courts think I should be here since it’s all wrong and they don’t know what they’re talking about.”   
  
Lacy sighed at him, I hated when she did that. This was going to be one of the days she tried making me talk now. She did the same thing with Georg when he came here. We hadn’t a new addition to our group since Georg. We were always full. Our group was for long-term kids, ones that weren’t going to get out within a few months. As a matter of fact, Connor was the only person who had ever gotten out of this place. He was of age though; he said he didn’t want to be here anymore. They tell me I can leave when I’m eighteen too, but leave to what?  
  
“Alright Bill, fine. You don’t have to talk about it now. But you will eventually. It’s the only way to start making things better. Andreas, why don’t we start with you? We’ll go around and everyone can introduce themselves to Bill.”  
  
No one said anything more then their name. Andreas. James. Jamie. They were twins, a boy and a girl. Gustav. Rachael. Georg. Lacy looked at me expectantly and I just continued to give her my blank stare. She sighed and waved her hand for Emma to continue. Alan. Ricky. Peter. And Rochelle. She sat next to Bill who was sitting next to Lacy in Connor’s old spot. Bill hadn’t paid any attention to anyone after me though, he had his eyes locked on me and wouldn’t stop staring. It was making me uneasy. I hated attention on me.  
  
I just got up and left, Lacy couldn’t say anything. It was my birthday; I didn’t have to be in there anyways. And with the way Bill’s eyes were on me, I didn’t want to be in there either.  
  
  
  
“I can’t wait for my birthday so I can just walk out on Lacy’s dumb ass too without getting a fucking warning.” Georg tended to get a lot of warnings because he couldn’t shut up. One more and it was straight to lockdown for him. Georg wouldn’t be able to handle being alone in lockdown for a week. I can’t even handle it in lockdown; you’re stuck in a room with no windows, a bed, and a toilet. There is a single light in the room that you can’t control and you are brought your three meals a day. Nothing else. “You left because of the new kid, didn’t you?” He didn’t wait for me to answer, “I would have too if those eyes were staring at me. What kind of boy wears that much make-up around his eyes? Or any at all for that matter. I dunno, he’s just weird. I don’t think I’m going to like him in our group class at all. He seems like a diva, Yanno? The one who always wants attention on them,” Georg didn’t have much room to talk there. Georg liked attention too, “Awe fuck, I’m still hungry. I’m gonna go grab an ice-cream thing. Be right back.” He was long passed asking me if I wanted one.   
  
Much to my dismay though, as soon as Georg had gotten up from his spot at our table, I say it’s ours since no one else sits with us, Bill sat next to me. People are freaked out by me, so they don’t even bother to sit at the table if I’m not there. “Hi,” I winced at the voice, loud and chipper and I knew exactly who it belonged too, “I’m Bill,” I didn’t even bother looking at him. He was starting to annoy me. “Are you mute or something?” He asked, I started drumming my fingers against the table, where the hell was Georg? This kid was starting to really annoy me and I won’t be held responsible for my actions.  
  
“Can you even hear me?” He asked, poking my shoulder a little with a long nail that was painted black. My fingers gripped at the table, he had five seconds to get away from me before I snapped.  
  
“Bill!” I knew that voice too, it was the voice of the bleach blonde Andreas from group, “Come on man, the others are waiting for you.” He said, grabbing Bill’s hand that was so near my shoulder again, “Sorry Tom,” He said to me, “He’s new, don’t lose you’re temper at him.” Andreas had been on the receiving end of my temper before; I broke his nose after he said my dreadlocks looked like overgrown worms coming out of my head.   
  
“Alright,” Bill said, letting Andreas pull him out of Georg’s seat, “I’ll see you later, Tom!” he said to me and my fist clenched tighter around the table. I could still hear them talking as they walked away, “Is he okay? He didn’t even look at me when I was talking to him.”  
  
“Tom doesn’t look at anyone when they’re talking to him. If I were you, Bill, I’d stay away from him. He only puts up with Georg and no one else. No one knows why, and it’s better not to ask questions unless you have a serious wish for a lot of pain.”  
  
By the time Georg was back I could no longer hear Andreas and Bill talking. “They had mint,” he said, putting a little mint ice-cream cup in front of me. It was the only one I liked, Georg had picked up on that along the way. If they had it when he went up there, he got it for me. He handed me a spoon as he started eating his own pink ice cream, my guess is strawberry, and I ate mine. He continued talking about something, but I wasn’t really paying attention, Georg was used to that. “See ya in the morning, Tom.” Were his final words to me as he walked down to his room and I walked into my own, freezing at the sight.  
  
Bill was sitting on the usually unoccupied bed on the other side of my room. Did this place have a death wish for the kid? “Hey Tom!” he said happily, waving at me as I walked in. I ignored him and fell onto my bed, rolling over so my back was facing him. There were plenty of other guys here who had spare beds in their rooms, why did they stick him with me? Hadn’t they learned yet that I’d rather be alone? “Are you going to give me the silent treatment forever, Tom? Because, I happen to like to talk.”  
  
Breathe in. Breathe out. Ignore him. Hitting him will only get you put in lockdown again. I’m not willing to go back there already; I was there last month for being in another fight. Normally I could control myself better after being in there, but something about Bill irritated the hell out of me! “Tom, come on! I won’t tell anyone you can talk! You can talk, can’t you? Andreas said you can, that you just don’t like too. He said he’s never heard you talk though, has anyone?”  
  
Honestly, I don’t know if I can anymore. I hadn’t in so long it was second nature not to. If you don’t use your voice for a certain amount of time, can it just disappear? I know I used to talk. I know I used to make noise. Nothing comes out anymore. Ever. “Andreas said that you broke your arm once and didn’t even scream.” That was always the first story they heard about me. Always. “Is it true?” Doesn’t he get it yet? I’m not going to say anything!  
  
“Maybe it is, but I don’t see how you can’t scream when you break your arm. Andreas also said that you’re really mean, but I don’t think that’s true.” One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Ignore him. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. “Are you scared to talk, Tomi?” My entire body stiffened, I closed my eyes tight and did my best to block him out.  _No one_ , calls me Tomi. “I think that’s what it is. I think you’re just scared.” Holy fucking hell! Can someone please shut this kid up? I won’t be held responsible for my actions much longer. I can’t handle his questioning.  
  
“Well, good-night, Tom. Talk to you in the morning.” He said as he shut off the light by his bed. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. You won’t smother him in his sleep, that’s wrong and considered murder! Even if you are in a mental hospital. Six. Seven. Eight. “Hey Tomi?” My hands tightened into fists, “I think I know why they put me in here with you.” He didn’t say anything after that, thank fuck. I didn’t care why; I just wanted him gone by any means necessary.  
  
One. Two. Three…


	2. Chapter 2

**|| Bill’s POV ||**  
  
I know why I’m here, the concept isn’t hard for me to grasp. I’m addicted to sex, end of story. I didn’t think of it as an addiction at first, I just had a very hungry appetite for sex, I don’t really know why, but I do. It wasn’t until I was locked in my house for a week did I realize that not only did I enjoy having all the sex I did, I couldn’t go two days without it without feeling like I was going completely insane.   
  
The only reason that I was caught is because the principle found out I had seduced three of my teachers, it’s not like they did anything wrong. They just couldn’t keep their hands off of me once I showed them what I had underneath my tight clothes. And it was only three of them! Seriously, you’d think they’d get over it instead of firing my teachers, actually- I think they’re all in jail right now. Statutory rape my mom had told me, no matter how much I told them that it wasn’t their fault. They didn’t rape me, I wanted it. I always wanted it. I had looked it up when I got home that night; the words are burned in my head.  
  
 _The phrase statutory rape is a term used in some legal jurisdictions to describe consensual sexual relations that take place when an individual (regardless of gender) has sexual relations with an individual not old enough to legally consent to the behavior._  
  
There would be a hell of a lot more people in jail then, I’m only fifteen… I’m not legal to consent to sex with anyone. I’ve been fucking around for he last two years. Oops. I didn’t care though, even after my teachers were taken away. I still wanted the sex, still needed it. It wasn’t until a week or so after the school shit blew up was I caught doing shit again. Mom had someone following me when I went out, because apparently I’m not trustworthy or some shit like that. The guy came back with… alarming news for my mom.  
  
In the five days he had been following me, there were eight guys. Eight? Yeah, that was right. Two of them had double-teamed me, and I had loved it. All eight of them fell under the category of ‘Statutory Rape’. Mom asked me who they were, I wouldn’t tell her. She wasn’t putting them in jail like she did my teachers; then again, I couldn’t remember who they were. They were all nameless men to me with big dicks and nice faces.   
  
Mom asked me why I did it, I told her I liked the sex and the money wasn’t bad either. How else did she think I afforded my clothes and make-up? I had to go to court for what they called ‘Prostitution.’ I was not a prostitute. Prostitutes were whores and had diseases, I may be a whore, but I’m clean. But they said I needed help, and they sent me here.  
  
My roommate wasn’t in the room when they took me to it; they told me I’d see him later. They also told me not to get on his bad side, because that was not where someone wanted to be. Why were they putting me in a room with a psycho? After I met him though, I realized why.  
  
There weren’t any free rooms, and you can’t just take some kid out of their room here and stick them in another, they had tried it before and it always ended up in suicide attempts. My group was apparently crazy; I shouldn’t be in a mental home. I’m not crazy.  
  
When I saw him, I was glad they put me in his room. He was sexy, terribly so. His eyes were as dark as chocolate and the dreadlocks hidden under that cap were too. I could imagine while I was sitting in that group room him pounding into me while I pulled on those dreadlocks. I wanted him, he was my mission. I thought it would be easy to crack him; I could have him bedding me by tonight. After all, we were in the same room.  
  
Turns out my plan didn’t go so well at all. I had given him the most seductive look I could manage while we were in group, he only walked out. I didn’t think it was allowed, but I then heard the boy next to him complain that it wasn’t fair Tom could just leave because it was his birthday and he couldn’t wait until his. He shut up after Lacy threatened him with a warning.   
  
I found him at dinner after that; there were no other chairs at the table he was sitting at with the complaining boy from group, so I couldn’t sit with him. But the brunette had gotten up from his seat and I took my chance and sat next to the dreadlocked teen. He never even looked at me! But thanks to Andreas, I knew why. His name was Tom, and he didn’t look or talk to anyone. He was the craziest in here, he said. Andreas told me anything I asked about the other teen; Andreas fucked me in the bathroom before bed as well. He was easy, way too easy.  
  
But this Tom… he didn’t look crazy, he looked sexy and a little out there with his eyes never focusing on a single thing for very long. He looked delicious, and I wanted him. After the complete silent treatment when he got into our room last night, I understood why Tom was my only option for a roommate. I was here to stop having sex, and it was kinda hard to have sex with someone who won’t even look at you. They counted on Tom’s anti-social nature and anger problems to keep me from fucking him. It was working so far, but I’m going to have him. I know it.  
  
“Good morning, Tom.” I said as he sat up in his bed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He was really cute this morning, he looked so groggy and tired; I put luck on my side. For about half a minute. He didn’t look surprised when he heard my voice, but his eyes did glance over at me and I could see the annoyance in them.   
  
There was complete silence in the little room as he kicked his covers off and pulled off the hat and sweatband and tossed them to the mess of covers on his bed. His long dreadlocks fanned over his shoulders for a moment as he tugged off the over-sized t-shirt he was wearing and went to the dresser for a new one. I couldn’t stop staring. Tom not only had a face, he had a body to go with it. God, it was terribly sexy and it made me want him all the more.  
  
I saw the way his fists clenched around side of the dresser when he pulled open a drawer only to find my shirts in it. He didn’t look happy. “They told me I could move you’re things to the bottom two drawers and put mine in the top,” I told him. Me talking only seemed to anger him more. He slammed the drawer shut with such a force that the entire dresser rattled in protest. After finding one of his shirts and a change of pants and boxers, he kicked the bottom drawer shut. “Don’t be mad, Tomi. That’s how it is with a roommate. You got to share things,” Tom flashed me a glare, I don’t know why.   
  
All I do know is that he scared the living hell out of me when he grabbed the side of the dresser and pulled it until it crashed onto the ground with a loud and angry clatter. Okay, I see what Andreas was talking about. Tom was a little scary. He was out of the room before I could say two more words to him. Maybe that was for the best, I don’t know if me being in his room was such a good idea.   
  
I was glad I had already changed my clothes and got ready for the day before he had woken up, because I wouldn’t be strong enough to move that dresser and get my things from it. I’d have to tell someone that it fell and they had to go pick it up. After a quick look in the small dirty mirror in our room, I left it as well. It was breakfast time anyways, and all meals were mandatory.  
  
  
  
“So how was your first night in hell, Bill?” Andreas asked me when I walked into group class that day. I knew he had been looking for me; I was trying to ignore him. I never like facing people after I fuck them.   
  
But I flashed him my smile anyways and I saw the way he melted back in his seat some. I knew he wasn’t talking about being in the home precisely; he was talking about sharing a room with Tom. “Oh it was alright. He didn’t take any notice to me, like you said he wouldn’t.” I didn’t mention the fact that he got mad at me though.  
  
I took my seat next to Lacy and got ready to join in on ‘Group Talk’, that is, until Tom walked in, with the brunette boy at his side twenty minutes late and my eyes couldn’t break from him. “Tom, Georg, why are you both late?” Lacy asked with her eyes narrowing at the two boys. She didn’t like disruptions in her group.  
  
Tom didn’t even look at her before he took his seat and crossed his arms over his chest. I saw something around his hand, what had happened? Thankfully, Georg answered. “Awe, Lacy, come on. We’ve never been late before; don’t get all prissy about it.” She narrowed her eyes more; giving him the same look she did yesterday with threatening to give him a warning. “Okay, okay! Sheesh!” Georg said, holding his hands up, “Tom was just trying to take his anger out on something other then a pale face with make-up and tight clothes like you tell him too,” I knew he was talking about me, “Unfortunately it was a wall, and he broke three of his knuckles. I had to drag him to the nurse.” Lacy nodded.  
  
Tom seemed so calm; he didn’t even look like he had been in any pain. I knew that if I broke three of my knuckles, I’d be screaming bloody murder and still crying! Lacy seemed appeased with Gerog’s answer once she too noticed the white bandage around Tom’s hand. “Tom, sweetheart. When I said take your anger out someplace else, I didn’t mean by hitting anything at all. Draw! Write! Make music!  _Talk_  to someone. There are so many things you can do without hurting yourself or others.” I read the rules, hurting yourself or anyone else got you in instant lockdown. So shouldn’t Tom be there now?  
  
Then again, from the stories they were telling about him, his punching a wall and breaking a few knuckles was better them him punching a kid and breaking another nose. Andreas said Tom had broken his before and he had once beaten up a kid so bad that they had to send the kid to a new home altogether because he was so scared of Tom. Tom didn’t say anything to her though; he just continued to look across the room with a blank stare. I noticed something else in that stare though; it was the same annoyance I felt when he looked at me earlier. I’ve come to the conclusion that Tom does not like me.  
  
  
  
“Hi!” I said in my most chipper voice when I sat down at the dinner table with Georg and Tom. There was an extra chair there today so I took my chance and sat there. I had noticed people coming and just taking the chairs away from the table; it explains why there was none yesterday. “This seat wasn’t taken, was it?”  
  
I felt the eyes of one very pissed off and one very surprised boys on me and I just smiled at them. “No,” The brunette named Georg said, I finally remembered his name. “Why are you sitting here though? No one ever does.”  
  
“Well, you guys were all alone,” I explained to him, smiling the smile that normally won me over with anyone. I could see Georg loosening up his hard stature, but Tom still looked stiff and pissed off. “And since Tom doesn’t talk or pay attention and you get no response from him at all, I figured you might like someone to talk to.” I had already decided that the best way to get closer to Tom was to get closer to Georg first.  
  
“Well, you were wrong.” Georg said to me as he shoved a bite of the Mac and Cheese we were having for dinner in his mouth. “Tom is great company and a good talker,” I had to hold myself back from laughing. “So really, we don’t need you to come sit with us because you feel bad or something. If I want to sit with someone else, then I would. But I’m fine sitting with Tom.” I’ve deduced that he knew Tom better then people who have worked with him since he got here. From what Andreas told me, it was at least five or so years when Georg has only been here a year. “Understood?”  
  
“Yeah, I understand,” I told him, flashing him my smile again and I saw him loosening up once again, but Tom only got even more stiff then before. “I really do want to sit here though. I mean, Tom’s my roommate, and you seem really nice. I’d like to get to know both of you.” I said in hopes that me being nice would help Tom open up to me more like I could tell Georg was.  
  
“Me, I don’t see a problem with that.” Georg seemed nice; he probably talked to other people as well anyways. “But you’re not going to be able to get to know Tom, he doesn’t like you.” Georg said simply, shoving more food into his mouth while Tom just moved his around his plate.  
  
“How do you know that?” I asked, frowning a little.  
  
“He told me.” Georg responded.  
  
My frown turned to confusion, “Tom doesn’t talk, how can he tell you that?”  
  
Georg just smirked a little, “He doesn’t have to talk. I know what every look means and every gesture means.” He looked over at his friend and laughed a little, the way Tom was doing something made him laugh, “Like right now, I bet anything he’s trying to think of different ways he can kill you without getting caught.” I couldn’t help but let out a frightened yelp, especially when Tom looked up at Georg and the corner of his lip turned up the slightest of bit to tell him he was right.   
  
  
  
“You’re not  _seriously_  thinking of what the best way to kill me is, are you Tom?” Tom was as silent as ever; his back towards me like it had been the night before. The fact that Georg was right, scared the hell out of me, he probably could do it! And I couldn’t ask for a room change because my roommate wants to kill me because I had no proof of that. Tom hadn’t said anything to me and he had yet to even try to hit me.  
  
“Tom, what did I do for you to hate me so bad?” I asked him, though I have come to terms with the fact that he’s not going to respond to me in any way. But he could still listen, “It’s not my fault they put me in this room,” Not entirely my fault at least. I didn’t ask to be put in a room with someone who could break his hand and not make a sound!  
  
“I’ll move my stuff out of the top drawers and give them to you if you’d like…” he didn’t even budge. Was he even breathing? “Tom, I just don’t want you to hate me. I don’t know what I did to you, but it must be bad…” I frowned a little and crawled under my covers, “Really bad if you honestly want me gone.” I said before I sighed and turned off the light. I was a little scared to go to sleep, but I don’t think Tom’s moving anytime soon, so it must be safe. “Well, good night, Tom.”


	3. Chapter 3

  
**|| Tom’s POV ||**

_“Daddy! Daddy, I’m hungry! Daddy, wake uuuup!” The little blonde kid was tugging on his fathers’ hand that was lying off the bed; he couldn’t have been more then two or three years old at that time. Parents both sleeping soundly in their bed, but his mom was against the wall and he couldn’t reach her. Daddy was right here; the little kid provoked his father._

_“Daddy, I want cereal. Please, daddy?” He whined some more, wrinkling his nose in frustration that his father wouldn’t pay any attention to him. Wouldn’t wake up for him. “Daddy-” He stopped calling his fathers name and he yelped in pain when the hard hand he was holding came across his small face._

_“Shut_ up _, Tom.” His father screamed, lifting his head from the pillow and looking down at the child who had fallen to the floor from his fathers slap. He sighed from seeing the rapidly darkening skin on the small child’s face._

_He grabbed the small child by the top of his pajama shirt once he sat up, pulling Tom into a hug in his arms. “Don’t cry, Tom. You’re going to wake your mother up.” He said, rubbing his back as the little boy hiccupped into his chest, “Go into the kitchen, Daddy will get you some breakfast.”_

Those were the first thoughts in my head when Lacy asked something I had never heard her ask in the three years I’ve been in her group class. (My first two years here were all private group classes.) ‘We’re going to try something new today, something that may help us all understand each of us a little better everyday. We’re going to start talking more about our pasts.’ We’ve always talked about that, I was confused, but I didn’t show it. ‘When we were all younger,’ I understood instantly now. ‘I want you all to think very hard, what is the very first thing you can remember about your childhood?’

Andreas started, as was usual. His was stupid, something about his dig running away when he was about five years old. The twins remembered the same thing; they remember their mom taking them to the park for the first time when they were four. Gustav was a little more interesting, he remembered when he was four he first saw his mom shoot up heroin in front of him. He was here for heroin- a habit he had gotten from his mother. Rachael remembered trying a sip of her dad’s beer when she was five, she didn’t like it. She became an alcoholic later though- she was seventeen now. Georg lied about his; I knew whenever he was lying for some reason. He said he could only ever remember happy things about his childhood, he remembered his fifth birthday party at the petting zoo. Georg hated animals; he had ever since he was younger then five. He told me, it was a lie. 

When Lacy looked at me, I just looked at the ground. I remembered it clearly. It’s impossible to forget the last time your father ever hugged you, even more impossible to forget the first time he ever hit you. “Tom, you must remember something.” She said to me, I said nothing. I wouldn’t tell her it. I wouldn’t tell anyone anything about my dad. Ever. He was dead now anyways, so what did it matter? “It could help a lot, Tom. Why don’t you just  _try_  and tell us something?” I was still as silent as ever, not even pretending to pay attention anymore.

She sighed at this point, “You have to talk one day, Tom. We all know you can, I don’t see why you think it’s so needed for you to be quiet all the time.” And she never would understand it. No one had to understand it; they just had to accept it like Georg did. “Emma, please continue.”

Emma, Alan, Ricky, Peter, and Rochelle all remembered shit as equally boring as the twins. Parks and kisses from mommy and daddy. “Bill, what do you remember?” Lacy asked him and a wide smile spread across Bill’s lips.

“I remember once, when I was about, oh… four years old probably, my mom found me in her room after work. The babysitter had fallen asleep and I wasn’t supposed to be playing in there. I had gotten into her make-up, it was  _everywhere_ , lipstick drawn all over my skin, I was only in my underwear,” he giggled at that and flashed his smile at everyone; everyone but me and Georg was under his spell. Actually- I think Georg might have been as well, “I had blonde hair when I was little, and it was died in all these different eye-shadow colours. Blues and greens and pinks and stuff, it took forever to get out. But anyways, when she walked in I was tripping as I was strutting in front of her mirror in a pair of heels that were a million sizes too big for me.” 

He giggled some more and a few others laughed as well, “Mom said it was the cutest thing she had ever seen me do. She said she knew then I was going to be gay when I was older. Go figure, she was right!” Jamie and James both flinched, but no one else did. The twins were rather homophobic- that’s why they were here I think. Something about trying to set a bomb off in their school when the gays, bi’s, and lesbians were having a support meeting. They had some pretty bad issues. Since they were only eleven when they did it, they got sent to a mental home to try and help them before they actually hurt someone. The bomb did nothing, but they still got in trouble. Their childish minds thought that baking soda and vinegar would make a huge explosion. 

Everyone else though, well, half of the kids here were gay. Andreas, Peter, Georg, Rachael, and Emma were all completely gay. Rochelle, Rick, and Gustav all went both ways. The twins and Alan were the only straight ones. I’ve thought about my sexuality before, I’ve finally come to the conclusion I’m a-sexual. I don’t get turned on by the thoughts of any boys or girls; they all make me sick. 

By the time Bill was done with his story, I had completely turned out and was playing with the hem of my over-sized t-shirt waiting for Lacy to tell us we could leave. If I didn’t have to go to these, I wouldn’t. I used to not mind them so much, but ever since Bill got here a month ago- group was a nightmare. “Alright everyone, I want you to think hard about your first memories, think hard about everything about your pasts. We’ll discuss this more tomorrow. I think we made some good progress here today everyone,” we all knew I was excluded from ‘everyone’. “You can all be excused for today, head down to lunch now! I’ll see you all later.” There was a shuffling of chairs and people standing up to get out before Lacy spoke again, “Tom, stay behind for a moment- No! Not you too, Georg, just Tom right now.”

“Good luck man, I’ll check for mint for you.” Georg mumbled to me, patting my shoulder before following the rest of the class out of the room down to lunch. I hope they had my ice cream, Georg was right- I wanted it. I stayed in my seat as Lacy got up from her chair and shut the door before she came and sat in Georg’s seat next to me. 

“Tom, I know you remembered  _something_  after I asked the class that,” She said to me, pushing a few dreadlocks over my shoulder and I stiffened from her touch. She sighed and moved her hand instantly, “You’ve been in here for three years, I know when you’re thinking about something, Tom.” She told me, I believed her. 

“Sweetie, I wish you would say something. Anything. Even a little ‘Hey’ from you would make all of here a lot happier.” I stayed silent; I wouldn’t even look at her. “Body language would show us something too, but you give us nothing to work with, Tom. You never have.” She was trying to get me to do something other then stare at the floor. “Everyone knows you give Georg the time of day, why him and no one else?” She asked, waiting for my answer and after a few minutes of dead silence she continued. “Tom, eye contact would be nice too,” she said, a little more harshly then any of her other words had been and grabbed my chin, making me look at her.

I instantly froze at her touch again, blank eyes looking into her upset and confused ones, “You and I will be having private meetings from now on. You no longer have to come to group.” I couldn’t believe my luck at this point, there had to be a catch. There had to be a reason she was letting me free from her group and offered more of her time to helping me and just me. “I don’t know what it is about Bill that bothers you so much, maybe it’s that he is roomed with you, but ever since he came to us for help- just like you and everyone else, you’ve become more detached from all of us then ever. Before you at least paid attention to what others were saying to you. Now there is nothing.” 

Honestly, I didn’t know she noticed that much about me. I really didn’t think Lacy cared that much about me. I figured she was like everyone else here and just thought me a waste of space and taxpayers money. “Tom, you’re not a lost cause,” She said softly, I don’t think I could breathe when she said that. “I know you aren’t, you’re emotionally and physically isolated from the world the rest of us are living in. I think you have something to say, you’re just afraid to say it. I’m going to help you, Tom. If it’s the last thing I ever do.” 

I was looking back at the ground at this point. My mind racing with everything she was saying. It was still in the room for another five minutes before I heard Lacy stand up besides me and felt her hand on my shoulder, “Starting tomorrow, you will not meet with us in here. You’re homework period is going to me moved to that time instead. You’ll meet with me in here after lunch instead,” That was bullshit! That was my free period where I could do absolutely anything I wanted! “Your free period will be after that instead, you and Georg will have the same one now. Free period starts today, everything else tomorrow.” I used to have homework period while Georg was in free period, I think Lacy did this on purpose. 

“Go to lunch now, Tom.” She said softly to me, finally taking her hand from my rigid shoulder, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

 

“Don’t you have homework now?” Georg asked me as I walked into the music room with him. Mostly everyone in our group has a different free period, except for the best friends. Like the twins, or Emma and Rachael, or Gustav and Rochelle. I knew Bill had free period with Andreas now; Georg and I were the only ones with separate ones from everyone else. Me, since I was anti-social, and Georg, since his best friend was me. So we had the music room to ourselves. I had never been in here while someone else was in here before. 

I shook my head though, answering Georg’s question. It was rare and few that Georg and I were completely alone like this. It was only times like this that I would answer some of Georg’s questions outright. Well, outright with body language. “No? Did it get changed?” I nodded at him and he grinned, “So we’re in the same now?” I nodded again, “Sweet! Is homework during free period now?” he asked and I shook my head, “Group?” I nodded once more, “Fuck man!” Georg understood everything from those five gestures.

Usually it took him awhile to decode what I had been saying with my stares and subtle movements, but when I gave him straight yes or no answers, he caught on ten times faster. “That’s what lacy wanted then, isn’t it? Shit man! She changed around your whole routine to get you away from the faerie boy!” I nodded once more, “Alone?” He asked. I nodded for the last time. I had answered enough of his questions.

“Damn man, you are fucking lucky as fuck.” Georg told me, “I wish I could get out of that class. Well, then again, it’ll be harder for you I bet. You’re stuck alone with Lacy now.” I didn’t say anything. He was back to his non-stop talking to where he knew I wasn’t going to answer him. “I don’t know why she’s really doing it. I mean it’ll just be an hour and a half of silence. Or rather, her talking and you ignoring her. So silence on your end. I know you won’t give her anything, you only do that for me,” He sounded strangely happy and proud of that fact.

I let Georg ramble on for a while longer as he walked over to a checkered black and white bass guitar that was always under a combination lock. There were a few things under combination locks in here, it meant they belonged to a specific person here and was not for public use. The bass was cool looking; really nice and expensive- I never knew it was Georg’s. It had to be his since he undid the lock and picked up the bass. “I’ve played for years,” He explained, “It’s my favourite.” He told me.

I stood still for a moment, unsure of what to do. I had never played in front of anyone else before. But Georg started messing with his bass, tuning it a bit and I walked over to the glass case that held my own guitar. It was the only thing I had ever bought, before I was sent here. It was still as good as new, I cared for it more then I did anything else in the world. My Gibson guitar… it was black except all the edging of it was white. The music teacher knew I played it, but he had never heard me. Whenever I broke a string of it needed new ones, when I would come in here for free period, there were always new strings waiting for me by the glass case. 

I unlocked the case and picked it up; I had only changed all the strings about two weeks ago. They were still perfect from then. “I had a feeling that was yours,” Georg told me; I hadn’t noticed he stopped playing his own bass. “You’re fingers are all calloused like mine. And the style of it just seemed like you. Obviously I hadn’t a clue who it really belonged to since no names are allowed on them,” Names weren’t allowed because if you had a vendetta against someone, you could try and ruin their instrument to fuck with them. Only the teacher, Mr. West, knew whose was who’s unless specifically told too by said owner. “But you just seemed like a Gibson type. I’m glad I was right, means I’m getting to know you better then I thought.”

Georg had that same proud tone in his voice then before and his face had turned the lightest shade of pink before he looked down at his own bass and began playing it again. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Georg  _liked_  me. But I doubt it; I don’t think that’s even possible for anyone to really like me that way. Besides, I’m not gay so it shouldn’t even matter. But still, the way Georg watched me while I was playing my guitar made the suspicion grow a little more.

He wasn’t watching with just interest to see how well I could play, he was  _really_  watching me. Or I was just really getting paranoid. That must have been it! I was just getting really freaked out from Bill watching me all the time and the way lacy was talking today that I was just getting paranoid of my best friend. My friend and nothing else, not in either of our minds. Fuck, I need to stop over analyzing things when they mean nothing.

“Tom, I think I have an idea,” Georg said to me after awhile and I stopped playing and looked up at him to show him I was listening. I wasn’t about to get all weird on him because my mind was going fucked from Bill and Lacy. “I think we should write something together.” That explained why he was watching me so hard! “You’re really good; I think it would sound cool. Hell, maybe we could find a singer and a drummer and start a band or something.” He grinned, “I know Gustav plays the drums. I’ve heard him messing with them,” He pointed over to a drum set that was in the corner of the room. “He’s good, I rocked out with him before he and Rochelle got moved to the same free period.” He explained. 

“I think it’d be fun. I ask around and see if anyone sings. I know Gustav will be up for it, he always wanted to be in a band,” I knew Georg talked to other people, but fuck, I didn’t realize he knew so much abut some of them, “What do you think?” He asked, actually waiting for my reply this time.

I plucked aimlessly at a few strings of my guitar for a moment before I shrugged a shoulder and nodded lightly. Why not? It would be something to do around here, hell maybe it could be a little fun. As long as Andreas or Bill weren’t the singer, I could actually handle more people around us. Gustav was alright, I don’t hate him. Wherever he was though, I knew Rochelle would go. That whole best friend thing, remember? I think they like each other anyways. She was boring, but not bad either. And maybe it would get Lacy off my back about talking to someone if I let someone other then Georg be around me.

And even though it’s probably just the paranoia making me think this, it’s probably best if I start hanging out with Georg alone a little less then I already do.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**|| Bill’s POV ||**  
  
I hardly ever see Tom anymore, not that I really saw him much to begin with, but I knew for a fact that at least for an hour and a half every single day I was going to see him in group. But for reasons unknown to me, Tom was no longer in our group class. The first day I didn’t see him, I thought he was gone. I know I had seen him that morning when I woke up, he was still sleeping. I left before I could get on his bad side first thing in the morning. I couldn’t remember seeing him at breakfast, and when group came around and he wasn’t in there- and Georg was, I really thought he had left. But I saw him for only a moment at lunch after that, so I knew he was still there.  
  
“Hey Georg,” I said, sitting down next to him in group about two weeks after Tom had been out of our class, I was giving him a smile that I knew would make him weak at the knees like it did to everyone to extract the information I so desperately wanted from this boy. Ever since Tom left, group was a lot more relaxed, we didn’t all sit in the same spots anymore, but rather moved around to our hearts content. I had asked Lacy about it and she told me that Tom was the one who never really changed where he sat, and everyone else just fell accordingly to him because he didn’t like too much change. It made him more on the edge and everyone in group just liked to keep a happy Tom.   
  
“Hey Bill…” Georg said, I could hear his voice was a little unsure. I was sitting in Tom’s old chair- for some reason, even though we all move around now, we tend to avoid this seat. As though Tom is going to come back and want it. But Lacy told us that Tom was not going to be coming back to this group for a while, if ever. But she wouldn’t tell anyone what happened to him; or with him for that matter. “What’s up?” Georg asked me, breaking my thoughts away from his dreadlocked best friend for a moment only to remember I was talking to him to find out more about him.  
  
“I have a question,” I told him, and I saw the way Georg shivered when he looked at me again. I had him, I knew I did. He didn’t respond, so I just continued anyways, my finger latching themselves to a bit of his hair and tugging softly in a flirting manner, “I know that you know why Tom isn’t in our group class anymore.” I told him, he flinched a little and tried to look away, I only tugged on his hair a little harder to make him look at me again, “I just want to know why…”  
  
Georg bit on his lip and looked around, Lacy wasn’t in here yet, and he couldn’t use her to save himself from answering the question. “Look, Bill…” He said softly, sighing a bit. “It’s really not any of my business to tell you,” I gave him a small pout and he bit down hard on his lip, “Lacy just moved him to a private counseling class now. He was in one a few years ago, but they gave up on him. Lacy thinks it could help. And it is helping a bit, but not because he’s alone. He still won’t give her a second glance, but he’s not so edgy anymore. He’s back to how he was before you came here. He’s away from you, Bill. And it helps him a lot.”  
  
I frowned at his last addition to my question and I let my hand fall from his hair and onto my lap. Tom really hated me that much that Lacy pulled him out of group because of me? That didn’t seem fair. I don’t like the twins at all and I’m still in here. “Why?” I asked him, frowning even more, “Georg, what did I do so bad that makes him hate me so much?” I asked, looking back up now, “I don’t get it… I only want to get to know him. You are able to be close to him, what makes us so different?”  
  
“Well, first of all, I’m not in his room.” Georg pointed out, “His room used to be somewhere where he could go to get away from everyone and everything. Tom dreads going in there at night now, given the choice between the rec room and his room, he used to choose his room one hundred percent of the time. But you’ve taken over half of it, you’ve taken over the one place that was his. I think it was the only place that has ever been his. As long as I’ve been here, Tom never had a roommate, but I was told that Rick was his roommate when he first got here. Rick asked for a room change after the first night, he claimed Tom gave him the creeps and he seriously thought that he was going to be murdered in his sleep. Rick had acute paranoia though, so it wasn’t taken seriously. But they got him a new room anyways, that’s why he’s with Andreas now. It just works that way. Tom alone has always worked and you changed that.”  
  
I looked up; I couldn’t bring myself to talk. And I knew Georg couldn’t bring himself to stop talking, the look of hurt on my face seemed to give him a happy gleam in his eyes that I didn’t like in the least bit. And from what I’ve realized, Georg likes to talk. A lot. “You see, now he always goes to the rec room and on the days where you show up there, he gives me this look that  _I_  knows means he wants the fuck out of there. Simply because you’re in there. I know so much about him, Bill. So much I couldn’t even try to explain things to you. I know things you can only know by spending time with him, by him letting himself be, well, more himself around you. And that is something you will  _never_  get, Bill. He doesn’t like you. You could even say he  _hates_  you. So if I were you, I would just back away from him. Don’t look at him, don’t try to talk to him, keep all your things away from his things, act like you don’t exist around him. Maybe he won’t hate you so much.”  
  
I was still for a moment longer when Georg stopped talking; I don’t know why he was being so mean to me. Saying things like that, Georg had never been so mean to me before. When I saw Lacy coming into the room, I instantly got up and moved to the only other free chair around the room- the one next to hers, and sat there. For the first time ever, I didn’t pay attention in group. I didn’t say a word. When it ended, I saw Georg give me a smirk before walking out of the room with everyone else. I stood up and Lacy touched my shoulder.  
  
“Bill, you were awfully quiet today. Is something wrong?” I looked over at her, concern written over her face, I nodded at her. At times, Lacy reminded me of my mom back home. I may have hid things from my mom and acted like a complete brat to her, and I was mad when she thought it was a good idea to come here, but I loved my mom with everything I had. “Do you want to talk about it?” I nodded and sat back down. “Go ahead,” she told me and I bit down on my lip to try and put my thoughts into words.  
  
“Well… really, it’s… I don’t wanna get this person in trouble…” I said softly, as much as I didn’t like Georg right now, it might upset Tom if he got in trouble, Lacy promised me he wouldn’t be in trouble. I nodded, “Before you came in here I was talking to Georg…” I started, twisting my shirt nervously in my hand as I spoke and told her what Georg was telling me. She was patient, quiet as I rambled on. “And the thing is, I don’t know  _why_  Georg seemed so happy to tell me all that. To make me hurt because Tom doesn’t like me.” I frowned.  
  
“Bill, don’t let what Georg told you or how he told it to you get you so upset. Yes, he wasn’t lying when he told you that one of the reasons Tom isn’t in this class anymore is because of you. Tom has a hard time adjusting to new things, new people. You’re really different from everyone else in here, and it frightens him. Georg was a godsend here for Tom. He needed someone and Georg is that person. Tom is very anti-social, as you can tell. But you must not worry so much about it.”  
  
“Why did he seem so happy about it all though?” I asked, sighing a little bit. I couldn’t deny that Lacy was making me feel a little better, if not still confused. “Why does Tom trust him so much? I don’t get it.”  
  
“Tom trusts Georg because Georg never asks for anything from him. He doesn’t ask for a response from a question, he just talks and Tom just listens. Georg was able to pick up on things quickly about Tom, and it all worked for him.” She told me, well… it made sense, even if I didn’t like it, “And Georg, he seems happy whenever Tom doesn’t like someone new because Georg is in love with him.” My eyes widened at her and she nodded, “Yes, Georg is in love with Tom. And the longer and more Tom doesn’t like others, Georg believes he’ll have more of a chance with him. What Georg doesn’t realize is that Tom won’t ever love him. Georg made the mistake of becoming his friend, and the only person he can trust. Tom can’t love him because it would ruin everything for Tom.”  
  
I smiled, it made me feel better, and I understood a lot more. “Thanks, Lacy.” I told her as I got up from my chair. I leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “You remind me of my mom. She’s a great person, and always knew how to make me feel better.” Lacy just smiled at me as I walked out of the classroom.  
  
  
  
“I know you’re awake, Tom.” I said as I walked into our room and Tom was lying in his bed, his back towards my own and his eyes shut. But I knew he was awake. Tom looks different when he sleeps; his breathing is much more shallow. He’s much less tense. He seems… happy in his sleep. “I don’t expect you to say anything, but I know you can hear me.” He didn’t move, “And I’m going to talk weather or not you like it, because you  _will_  listen, because I know you wont say anything to me.” I had made a decision- more of a plan, during my own free hour today when I was in the art room with Andreas.   
  
I was going to make Tom fall in love with me. We weren’t ever going to be friends, and I knew that much to be true. But that worked to my advantage after everything Lacy told me. Tom won’t ever be in love with his friends. I don’t know  _why_  I want to make Tom fall in love with me, since all I really want from him is sex, but I’m going to do it. “You don’t like me.” I said, and I saw the way his shoulder moved a bit, he was agreeing with that. “I’m different then anyone else here, I tried to make you talk and you didn’t even try to hit me, so I know you think I’m different.”  
  
He still didn’t move, that was okay right now. He would eventually. “You’re a brat, Tom. And I really can’t say it’s for no reason, since I don’t know anything about you really. I don’t know why you’re here, I don’t know what made you stop talking, I don’t know _anything_. And unless you do start talking, I’m never going to know anything. And I’m sure that’s the way you want to keep it.” He rolled over a bit now, turning and facing me. I smiled, I’m getting  _somewhere_  with him. He was looking at me, even if it was with hate.  
  
“I don’t doubt that I will never understand you. Even though I want too…” I trailed off for a moment, sighing before looking at him again. This might be a low blow towards Georg… but if it worked to my advantage, then so be it. He was an ass to me anyways, “I mean, I know I wont ever be in love with you like Georg is, but I don’t see why that means I can’t get to know you too.” His eyes widened and I inwardly grinned, he didn’t realize Georg was in love with him. I just gave him a confused look though, as though I didn’t know why he looked so surprised, “Never mind, I suppose. Night, Tomi.” I said softly, pulling off my shirt and crawling under my covers.  
  
I felt Tom’s eyes on my for some time after that, as though trying to read if what I told him was true or not. And if my guesses were correct, Tom wasn’t going to be spending too much time with Georg alone anymore. And if he does, well, I know Georg isn’t going to get the same reactions from Tom as he used to.  
  
It was a win-win game on my part. Tom had a deep-set hate for everyone in this place but Georg, and since we share a room he’s going to be stuck with me more then he is the others. Especially if he gets pissy and messes up and gets stuck in our room- hopefully our room rather then lockdown that is. I just hope that much at least.   
  
After awhile, I heard Tom shuffling around in his bed and my guess is to try and sleep. Though before I fell asleep, I never heard his calm breathing patterns. I realized though, I do know things about Tom that Georg doesn’t, I know the Tom who’s away from him, I know the Tom in his sleep. I think I’m the only one who has ever really seen him smile, a real happy smile. He only does that while he sleeps.   
  
I’ll get to know Tom like Georg does. It’ll take time, but it  _will_  happen.


	5. Chapter 5

**|| Tom’s POV ||**  
  
 _He heard the absolutely worst thing he could when he woke up that morning. It was actually the scream that had woken him up, the small blonde child; he was only four years old then. “OH MY GOD!” It was his fathers’ voice, scared, loud, and completely frightening.  
  
He came out of his bedroom, rubbing sleep from his eyes and walking to where he heard his father’s scream- still too small, to young to know not to go near the man yet. He was running out of his bedroom and he caught sight of the little boy. “What’s wrong, daddy?” He asked, looking tiredly up at his father.  
  
“You’re moms dead.” Was all he said, the child just looked confused. He was too little to know what ‘dead’ meant. Too little to understand that his father was telling him that he was left alone with only him.  
  
“I’ll wake her up, daddy. Mommy promised pancakes today.” He said, smiling at his father. Dead must have been another word for ‘sleeping’. He was still learning all his words. “Mommy wake up for me,” he said proudly touching a small fisted hand to his chest, there was never a time she hadn’t woken up when he had asked her too. “Mommy makes both us pancakes!”  
  
He hardly got two steps towards the door when his father dropped to his knees and grabbed his shoulders, shaking the boy. “She wont wake up, Tom! She’s never going to wake up again! Don’t you get it? She’s _dead _, Tom. She’s not going to wake up, she’s not going to make you fucking pancakes!”  
  
Tom still didn’t know what dead meant, but he started crying. His dad was scaring him, and mommy wasn’t going to make him pancakes like she promised because she didn’t want to wake up for him. That much he understood. It would only be another week before Tom truly understood what his mother being ‘dead’ meant for him.  
  
Dead meant that daddy didn’t care about him at all anymore. Dead meant that Mommy wasn’t going to be there to protect him anymore. Dead meant that daddy blamed him for everything that wasn’t his fault. Dead meant that there was no more mommy._  
  
That’s what I remembered when Lacy asked me to tell her about my mom. What was there to tell about her? My mom was dead. She died on June 11th when I was four years old. She left me alone with the bastard that was supposed to be my father. I didn’t tell her that though. I didn’t tell her anything. I just stared at the floor until Lacy told me I could leave, lost in my own thoughts and memories. Things I hadn’t thought about in a really long time.  
  
  
  
“Tom. Tom, wait up!” I heard Georg the first time he called my name; I didn’t need him to call me again. I also didn’t need his hand grabbing my shoulder to stop me from walking. I instantly shrugged out of his touch; I didn’t want to have him touch me… Georg was in love with me and that  _had_  to stop right now. I like having Georg as a friend, why’d he have to go all ‘in love’ and ruin everything?  
  
“Sorry man, you just didn’t slow down. I didn’t think you heard me,” Georg said with a grin, oblivious to my obvious attempts to ignore him and just get to the homework room in peace. It was free hour; normally Georg and I would already be on our way to the music room by now. If not there, then the rec room. But that wouldn’t work either, we’d be alone both places and that didn’t seem like a good idea to me.  
  
You could go to the homework room anytime you wanted technically, but it was only mandatory during your hour. I didn’t actually have anything to do in there, but Georg wouldn’t know that, and I could get started on my shit for tomorrow. And I knew someone would be in there, “Dude, why are we going this way? Aren’t you done with you’re homework already?” I didn’t even look at him, “I guess not…” He said, frowning a little and following me still, “I was hoping we could finish that song today, besides, Gustav and Rachael aren’t gonna be there today so we could work on the guitar parts,” he still got no response.   
  
When we walked in the room though, I saw the smirk that spread over Georg’s face, and I even knew why. Bill was the only other person in here. Of all the fucking people… I could scream right now. Well, not really. But still. I couldn’t think of what was the lesser of two evils. Spend the next hour and a half in here with Bill and Georg… or be alone with Georg.   
  
I picked option one. Georg looked dumbfounded when I walked further into the room despite the faerie boy sitting at the table scrawling away on some paper. He groaned and scratched out something. I grabbed my math book and went and sat at the table with Bill. There were plenty of other tables in here, but still… this was the safest option. “Hey Tom…” Bill said when Georg and I sat down. “Georg.” He added as though it was an afterthought.  
  
“Hey Bill.” Georg said, his voice was sour. Oh god damnit how did I not notice the way Georg acted before now? I opened up the book to the next chapter and read over the beginning of it, getting bored instantly. Math was easy, but that was exactly the problem, it was  _too_  easy.   
  
Without bothering to read the rest of the instructions, I grabbed few sheets of paper from the middle of the table and a pen. Boring. I swear it. “Shouldn’t you do math in pencil, Tom?” I heard Bill ask me, I didn’t bother looking up, “Yanno, in case you mess up? It just seems logical to me.”  
  
“Tom doesn’t mess up,” Georg answered for me; I wish he’d stop doing that. “He’s like, a fucking genius. Especially when it comes to math.” Georg said, he had one of his own books out, English from the looks of it. Georg was wrong there, I wasn’t a genius, I’m just good with numbers. Put that English book in front of me and I couldn’t write you a damn sentence correctly to save my life.  
  
“Well, isn’t he lucky.” Bill’s voice was just as sour when he spoke to Georg, but he wasn’t looking at either of us, staring intently at the paper he was writing on before groaned and erasing something, “I couldn’t get this math shit right if someone paid me to!” I peeked at his paper some and rolled my eyes. He was only doing simple tenth grade math. I was doing calculus. It was still easy.  
  
Georg laughed at Bill some and moved a little closer to me so our arms bumped against each other. I stiffened and got up from my chair. I knew if I just stood there, Georg would start wondering why I was acting weird, so I did the only thing I could think of on the spot. I walked over to Bill and read the math problem over his shoulder.   
  
 _Brendan went to Toronto to see a Blue Jays game. He had $650.00 for the trip. It cost him $40.00 for his ticket to the game, $216.00 to stay 2 nights at a hotel, $329.00 for his flight and $29.00 for food. He met a man on Young Street who was running a small casino. Brendan bet $5.00 in Black Jack and won an amount of money that was triple what he had left after making the bet. He spent half of this at the ball game. How much money did Brendan take home?_    
  
It was easy… I wasn’t sure how he didn’t understand it. Then I realized it was probably the same kind of question Georg always got stuck on. “Did you ask for help?” I heard Georg ask Bill through gritted teeth when I was standing over the faerie-like boy.  
  
Bill sighed, “Yes,” he said with a nod before he turned his head and looked at me, “You understand this completely, don’t you?” I just stared at him, not moving away, but not nodding to answer his question, “I know you do. You’re giving me that ‘I’m dumb as shit’ look again. I wish you could just talk to help me with this. The teacher isn’t helping at all. All he says is to read through the book again. It doesn’t make any sense!” He sounded frustrated, not at all like the Bill who had been bugging the shit out of me since he got here. He was acting… normal. It made me not hate him so much right now.  
  
Without thinking twice, I pulled the pencil from Bill’s hand and leaned over him- being sure not to touch him at all- and writing down the obvious to me answer on the paper. Ninety dollars. Bill looked at me again with wide eyes. “How did you do that?” He asked, licking over his lips.  
  
I moved from behind him and took a chair next to him, when it came to numbers like this, I could be comfortable. I was only doing math homework- nothing more then that. [$750 - (216 + 100 + 40 + 329 - 5)] 3/2 = 90. I wrote it down and he looked over the problem and smiled, “Oh! Oh I think I get it!” He squealed, taking the pencil back and looking at the next question. I watched him do it and instantly pulled it back from his hand, writing out the correct form before handing the pencil back and Bill looked it over, a blush falling over his cheeks before he finished it. The answer was right.  
  
He did the next three problems; I sat back in my chair next to him- bored out of my mind. Simple logic. That’s all it was. Algebra one shit. Every single time Bill finished a problem; he made me look at it. If I didn’t move, he figured it was right, because when it was wrong, I’d take the pencil for him and erase what he got wrong. I could feel Georg’s jealous and heated stare on us, but I had to ignore it. It was making me  _really_  uncomfortable. It reminded me of the stares Bill normally gave me. But now, Bill was just doing math.   
  
“Tom, if you’re done with your own Math shit, lets get out of here. It’s stuffy and I want to go work on that song.” Georg said when Bill folded up his finished homework and put it in his book cover.   
  
“You guys play?” Bill asked, looking up at Georg and back at me. I didn’t move, just looked at the table, Georg however- nodded shortly at him. “That’s really cool. I could never play anything, but I sing.” He shrugged one of his shoulders and stood up, flipping his hair over his shoulder. “But I have to go turn this in, it’s already late. Thanks for the help, Tom!” Bill said, waving at me and walking out of the room.   
  
Georg and I both looked at each other, eyes wide. No fucking way. I know we were thinking the same thing. I even forgot momentarily that I didn’t want to be alone with this boy. The band idea had been working well. Gustav and Rachael had gotten their free period changed with ours. We were practicing almost every day. The only thing we had been missing was a singer.  
  
“Think he’s any good?” Georg asked, forgetting that we both hated the faerie boy. For different reasons, but we both hated him. I shrugged my shoulder- only we were in there. “Fuck man, of all the people here who might even be able to sing it has to be  _him_. This is bull-shit, yanno that?” I nodded slightly, “I think, if we really want this to go anywhere… we’re going to have to ask him.” I stiffened a little. I really didn’t want Bill to be near me  _that_  much. Today was just a fluke. “I’m asking him.” I didn’t move, “You don’t like it, I know you don’t. But Tom, we might have a chance.”  
  
  
  
It was only for the day, but Georg got Lacy to let Bill away from homework for the day to be with Georg, Rachael, Gustav, and I. I think it was the fact that Bill would be around me that got her to agree. Especially when I didn’t even give the slightest inclination that I didn’t want Bill to not be around me. I really didn’t, but Georg was right, we had a chance with this. To go somewhere with our music if we found a good enough singer. And music was the one thing in this place that I liked. No, not just liked. I loved it.   
  
“So, you’re good, Bill?” Gustav asked, spinning one of his drumsticks between his fingers and Bill grinned at him and nodded. Everyone had been silent when Bill walked in. Gustav seemed to be peacekeeper. I was standing on one side of him, plucking at the strings of my guitar and pretending to ignore everything else around me. Georg was on the other side of him glaring into Bill as if to tell him ‘If you’re not good, I’ll kill you.’ “Okay then, sing something.”  
  
Bill gave us all a nervous look as he twisted his hands together as though thinking about what to sing. Hell, I’d be nervous too. Three guys who could kick your ass staring at you expectantly. But he sang, and we were all more then surprised. I even looked up when he started. “You and I and a little toy shop, buy a bag of balloons with the money we've got. Set them free at the break of dawn, ‘til one by one, they were gone. Back at base, bugs in the software flash the message, "Something’s out there." Floating in the summer sky, ninety-nine red balloons go by…” He took a small breath, even completely accapella he was good. Really good, “Ninety-nine red balloons, floating in the summer sky. Panic lads, it's a red alert, there's something here from somewhere else. The war machine springs to life, opens up one eager eye. Focusing it on the sky, ninety-nine red balloons go by.”  
  
By the time he finished, Georg’s mouth was wide open, I was staring blankly at him, and Gustav had a grin across his face. “Nena, right?” Bill nodded at him. “Well, my opinion, I think you’re great, Bill! As good as you said you were. Georg, Tom, what do you guys think?” He asked, looking from one of us to the other.  
  
“Yeah... he’s really good.” Georg mumbled, looking almost mad about the fact that Bill was good. I gave a small nod and looked back at my guitar.   
  
“Well, then I think it’s unanimous! Bill, welcome to the band.” Gustav smiled at him, “Now we just need lyrics and we’re set. Can you write, Bill?”  
  
“Yeah, I can.” Bill said, smiling and bouncing on his toes some, “I have some stuff I’ve messed around with back in mine and Tom’s room,” I couldn’t help but like how he said it was both of our room rather then just his own, “I can bring them to show you sometime.”  
  
Gustav nodded, “Good deal, I’ll talk to Lacy. You need to get in our free period permanently. The only problem is, I think that means Rachael is going to have to go to another one. No more then four, remember?” He sighed and shook his head, “She’s going to be so pissed at me.”  
  
“Get over it,” Georg hissed at him, “I’m getting over it, Tom will get over it, you’ll have to get over it and so will she. Fuckin’ a man, you see her every other time of the day.” He sounded pissed at Gustav, but both Gustav and I knew it wasn’t because of Rachael. It was because the faerie boy in front of us was the best singer we could have asked for.   
  
Gustav looked at me and smirked, he had told me a few days before he thought Georg liked me. This just proved it. Damnit, when did it start happening? I’m loosing my best friend because he had to get a stupid crush on me and I can’t allow it to happen. This shit sucks. Everyone apparently realized it but me. I wish they all kept their damn mouths shut and I could have been completely oblivious to it.   
  
“Shut up, Georg.” Gustav told him as he shook his head, “You’re the one who wanted to start this, so you can be a little more excited and stop acting like such a girl about everything.” Bill snickered behind his hand and caught my eye especially when Georg yelped and started yelling at Gustav.   
  
Georg was acting like a girl; I couldn’t help but to give Bill a small smirk back.


	6. Chapter 6

**|| Bill’s POV ||**  
  
When it came to math, I was at a loss. Who honestly cared what x squared plus z to the third power divided by eight over seven times negative twelve q equaled? It was just a bunch of numbers and letters that didn’t make any sense to me. I didn’t care about numbers, not even when it came to money. All I did was slide my mom’s gold credit card she gave me through the machine and I was done.   
  
But Tom… he was smart. Really good with the numbers and symbols and put them in a way that made sense to me. I won’t even lie, the whole time he was helping me- I wasn’t even thinking about my plan to win him over Georg. He was just… helping me. Afterwards, I realized it was probably a bad idea, since that was more of a friend-like thing to do, and I didn’t want to get to be Tom’s friend. I wanted more. I wanted him in bed. But maybe this could help me… after all; I did get a smirk from him after I was officially in the band with the other guys.  
  
Though that had been almost two weeks ago, Tom had gone back to his completely fixed nature. Wait, no, strike that. Tom was worse then he had been before. Because now, he wasn’t even looking at Georg. I’d say I was starting to feel bad for Georg, but then… that would be admitting I’d done something wrong. And really, I haven’t done anything wrong. I just pointed out the obvious. It’s not my fault that Tom never realized it before hand.  
  
I was getting along better with Tom, I wasn’t afraid he was going to kill me in my sleep anymore. He still hardly looked at me or even acknowledged me, but when he did it wasn’t with a death glare. I was starting to get to know him more. When he was in a good mood, I got a half-smirk. If he was just like he was normally, I just got his blank stare he gives everyone. And when he was pissed, he just didn’t look at me at all.  
  
I was lucky that he didn’t hate me as much anymore, since we had homework together now as well. Since the guys and I were starting the band and getting our free periods changed, absolutely  _everyone_  just had to change theirs as well, which ended up in Lacy changing everyone’s schedule’s around.  
  
Homework was right after breakfast with Tom, then I had group with Lacy and after that I either had to see my mum if she came up or go to my own ‘sex therapy’ session. After was lunch, and after that was free period with the guys. Then a few classes I was being forced to take before dinner. But none of that really mattered. I didn’t know anyone else’s schedule but my own, even though I wanted to know Tom’s. I had tried to figure out his, but it seemed impossible. Actually, I was starting to wonder if Tom even had any classes other then his private group with Lacy.  
  
Tom, Georg, Gustav, and I all sat at the same table during every meal. According to Lacy, this was major progress for Tom. She was really happy he was starting to interact with more people then just Georg. Maybe his own private group was a good thing.   
  
I couldn’t lie; I was starting to like things more around here. Especially since I got to spend more time with Tom then I did before.  
  
  
  
 _”Tomi? What are you doing up?” I asked my roommate who was sitting on his bed, staring at me. What had I done this time? I don’t think I had done anything to make him angry lately… had I? “Tom?” I asked again, “Why… are you staring at me. You’re kinda freaking me out a bit.” He was freaking me out a lot.  
  
He just smirked at me, as silent as ever. His smirk sent a shiver down my spine, especially when he got up from his bed and walked over to me. “Tom, I-” His hand grabbed a fist full of my hair and I hissed before Tom’s mouth was on mine in a bruising kiss. I was shocked to say the least, but I kissed him back. My arms linked around his shoulders and I pulled him closer, parting my lips to deepen the kiss.  
  
He pushed me down against my bed, straddling my hips without ever breaking our lips apart, catching my moans in his mouth. I don’t know what was possessing Tom to do this, but right now, I didn’t really care. All I knew is that he was kissing me, and I wanted it.  
  
I slid my hands down his back, sliding them under his oversized t-shirt he was wearing to bed to touch his skin underneath. Warm. Soft. Perfect.   
  
He pulled our lips away from each other’s and I whimpered, I didn’t want him to stop. But before I knew what was happening, Tom was pulling my shirt off and I let him, taking his off right after. Within seconds we were both naked and Tom was grinding against me, earning moans and mewls from my parted lips and his own attached to my neck. “Oh, god… Tomi, please.” I begged him, I needed him.  
  
He didn’t make me wait. He slid two of his fingers into my mouth and I sucked on them eagerly, earning my own groan from the boy on top of me. He pulled his fingers from my mouth, trailing kisses down my body before he slid them both inside of me and I arched up in pleasure. After only a few seconds I was moving my hips with his fingers, forcing him to go deeper inside of me. “God, Tom… fuck me.” I moaned out, he only smirked at me again, catching my lips in his own as he pulled his fingers out and positioned himself at me entrance.   
  
I locked my legs around his waist as he pushed inside of me and made me nearly scream. After a few thrusts, I was screaming. “TOM!”_  
  
“Ow, fuck…” I hissed, rubbing my head where something hit it and my eyes opened, only to see that Tom wasn’t on top of me. I turned my head to see a  _very_  angry Tom glaring at me and I flushed. I had only been dreaming… what had I said out loud? Had I woken him up? There was no point in asking him anything… he wouldn’t answer me anyways.  
  
I sighed and sat up, only then becoming away of a very painful hard on. Awe, fuck me. This couldn’t get any worse. I looked back at Tom for a moment and he was holding his hand out like he wanted me to give him something. I was confused, yet again. I looked around me to see a book lying next to me. That’s what must have hit me in the head. I looked at it as I picked it up and gave Tom a wide-eyed look. He just gave me a look that so clearly said ‘Say anything and you’ll die.’ Well, no wonder it had hurt so badly, I wouldn’t be surprised if I had a bruise from this thing! I  _never_  would have pegged Tom for one who read Harry Potter books.   
  
“Sorry I woke you up,” I finally said as I tossed to book to him, I couldn’t exactly get up from my bed. He just glared at me again and flung the book under his bed before he pulled his covers over his shoulders and rolled back over so his back was to me. I gulped back some and closed my eyes, thinking of anything and everything to will my hard on to go away. It wasn’t easy; my thoughts kept going back to Tom… and to my dream.  
  
Fuck. It had been such a nice dream too.  
  
  
  
My best guess was that I had only been groaning or something in my sleep and hadn’t said Tom’s name out loud at all. Either that, or Tom didn’t remember a thing because at breakfast, he opted to sit next to me rather then Georg. Gustav had taken the last chair before Georg got a chance to move to Tom’s other side.   
  
“Gustav, you’re such a fucking asshole,” Georg hissed at him and I rolled my eyes, glancing at Tom for a moment. He caught my eye and rolled his own before going back to picking at his powered egg substance. Georg had become really good at being a bitch lately.   
  
“Georg, stop acting a like a girl because Bill and I are sitting next to Tom and you’re not.” Gustav told him with a sigh, shaking his head at the rapidly flushing Georg and I instantly blocked them out. I was getting tired of Georg’s hissy fits. Gustav only provoked him like that because he liked Georg, I’ve decided it. Everyone but James in our group has to be gay. I see the smirk that falls over Gustav lips  _every single time_  he starts fucking with Georg. He either really, really likes him, or enjoys seeing our bassist get really, really pissy.  
  
“Tom,” I said softly, poking his shoulder to get his attention. He turned his head and looked at me, his eyes and face completely barren of any expression, he was alright now. He wasn’t pissed, he wasn’t happy. “Are you done with that? I don’t wanna hear Georg screech and I was wondering if you could help me with my math again.”  
  
Tom watched me for a moment before looking at the G-strings, sure enough Georg’s cheeks were turning pink and he punched Gustav in the arm, snapping at him again with his voice going an octave higher. I wasn’t lying to him, I did need his help with math again, I started a new chapter yesterday and just got completely lost all over again. Tom pushed himself up from the table, looking at me for a moment before heading towards the doors, me following quickly after him.   
  
  
  
“What are you working on, Bill?” Gustav asked as he made his way into the music room for practice, I was sitting in the corner with my lyric book propped up on my knees. I waved my hand at him, telling him to go away with the small gesture before I sucked the eraser of my pencil back into my mouth. I had an idea for another song, but for the life of me I couldn’t get it to sound right. “Let me see it?”  
  
“No!” I yelped, holding the book close to my chest and looking up at him with wide eyes, “The songs cannot be seen until I finish writing them. It just goes like that.” I told him, he rolled his eyes at me. “I’m serious, Gustav. It’s bad luck otherwise and I’ll _never_  be able to finish it.”  
  
“I just thought I’d be able to help, is all. It’s how a band works, Yanno.” He told me and I frowned, just shaking my head at him and waving my hand once again. When he walked away, I swear he mumbled something about how Tom could probably see it if he asked. He’s wrong there though, I don’t  _like_  Tom like that, I just want him to fuck me.  
  
Though another part of me keeps telling me that Gustav was right, if Tom wanted to see it, I’d probably let him see it.  
  
I peeked over my book to look at said dreadlocked boy in question and smiled slightly to myself. I liked watching him play guitar like that. Everyone was pretty much doing their own thing; we didn’t really have many songs yet. Mainly because I had only showed them one of them- since it was the only one I had finished. But the guys were still working on the music for it. But Tom… watching him was something else.  
  
He got this serious look on his face when he played, but like, a relaxed serious. When he played, it was the only time I ever saw him relaxed. I was listening to the frets he was playing, each of them forming together to make something really pretty. I was soon tapping my toe to him playing and humming softly to myself. The more he played though; my eyes grew wide and a grin spread across my face, “THAT’S IT!” I cried happily, jumping to my feet.  
  
Tom and the others stopped what they were doing and looked at me with almost completely identical confused expressions. “Tom, that was it! That’s the music that goes with this song!” I told him, everything was fitting perfectly together in my head now, words that I hadn’t been able to think of moments before were starting to fit themselves in flawlessly. It was so perfect! “Tom, please... play that again real quick…” I asked him, picking my lyric book up from the ground and opening it back up to the right page, scrawling the title across the top of the page.   
  
It was all just right. Tom shrugged his shoulder lightly before he started playing again and the other two just watched us, eyes darting from me on one side of the room to Tom on the other. “Lost and so alone, born but never known. Left all on their own, forgotten children. We'll never hear a name, they carry all the blame. Too young to break the chains, forgotten children.” I sang the words softly to myself so they couldn’t hear them, loving how they just made themselves known to me as Tom played them. “Okay stop!” I said quickly and loudly, holding my hand up to Tom before I scrawled down the words I had just thought of.   
  
Everything just came out so easily after that, I made Tom play through that music about twenty more times before I was sure it was perfect, and by the time I was done writing it our free period was long over. I was cutting into the science class I was supposed to be in right now- Georg and Gustav had already left the room. But I had finished the song, and we had the complete guitar part to the music. I watched him set down the guitar and stretched out his hands. They had to have been cramping up after playing the same thing over and over again for nearly two hours.   
  
But he still did it for me. “Tom, you’re amazing!” I squealed, running over to him after I had written down the very last of the words. I threw my arms around him and kissed his cheek. “Thank you  _so_  much, Tomi! But I’m, I gotta go before I get in so much trouble for being late again!” I squealed a little, letting him go and quickly running out of the room before I even had time to think about what I had been doing.  
  
It wasn’t until I had apologized a million times over and got myself out of lockdown did I even think about it again. I had hugged Tom… I had kissed his cheek. I had broken further into his personal space then anyone else has ever done before.  
  
I was going to be killed tonight.


	7. Chapter 7

  
**|| Tom’s POV ||**

_“You’re kinda cute,” A redheaded little girl sat down next to the little blonde child. He looked different now, older, and colder, not like a little kid should look. He was nine years old. “I like your hair, have you been doing that for a long time?” She asked, pointing to the dreadlocks on the top of his head. They were short; he was putting wax in them when she sat down. He didn’t say anything to her though, just looked away and continued the tedious task of waxing his short dreads._

_“They told me you didn’t talk, I didn’t really believe them.” She said to him, pulling her knees to her chest, not taking her eyes off of him. She was taking in his entire appearance so it would seem. “I guess it is true though. I’m Alexia, I know you’re name is Tom.” She said with a smile, the blonde child looked up at her now, wiping his hands off on the over-sized pants he had been given. All his clothes were too big for him here; he was given hand-me-downs from all the older kids. Alice, the ‘mother’ here said she’d get him knew things that fit him as soon as she could, but the nine year old Tom liked the clothes. They fit him, he figured._

_“Come with me, Tom,” She said, taking his hand he had just gotten the wax off of, “I brought some Lego’s with me, I think you’d like them.” His first reaction was to hit her for even touching him, for breaking into his personal space- but she_ was _a girl, Tom didn’t hit girls. So he pushed himself off the ground and let her lead him to the playroom where her Lego’s were._

_Alexia was Tom’s first friend, even if he didn’t want her as a friend; she stuck to his side at all times. “Tom, I can’t figure this out,” She whined to him, holding out the half built rocket ship. Tom smirked at her- he could see the way the pieces should fit together by looking at the ones scattered around her legs and the messed up ones in her hands. Together, the two of them built the rocket. It took them nearly an hour, the nine year old boy and eight year old girl kept silently arguing about which piece went where._

_Tom would get frustrated with her and snatch things from her hands. He never hit her though, had she been a boy sitting across of him doing things wrong when he knew how to do them, Tom would have long ago hit them and finished it himself- even if they weren’t his toys. But he wouldn’t hit Alexia; he wouldn’t hit the one person here who wasn’t trying to make him talk to them. Who wasn’t trying to force him to get along. She’d just giggle when Tom got mad at her._

_“You’re really sweet, Tom.” She said softly, leaning over and pecking him on the cheek. In anyone else’s eyes, that little peck between the two little kids was harmless. To Alice, it was maybe Tom opening up to someone finally. She had been watching them; she noticed Tom wouldn’t be rough with her. Alexia could have been the perfect thing for Tom._

_Hell, maybe she would have been. Tom was smiling more when Alexia was around him. He just bats her away when she’d lean in and kiss his cheek or wrap arms around him to hug him. No one thought that Tom would become worse then before, no one thought Alexia would leave him after only three short months. “I’m so sorry, Tomi,” She told him, hugging him close to her._

_Tom was stiff in her arms, his face completely blank. He hadn’t even been this bad on the day she met him. He just ignored her at first; Tom had never been so stiff with her. “I’ll come back for you too, Tomi. They’ll want to adopt you too once I tell them about you! You’re so great; they’ll have to take you too!” Tom just looked at the ground, pretending to be ignoring her. Alexia thought he was ignoring her, which was exactly what he wanted._

_“You’re my best friend, Tom. I’ll never forget you.” She said softly, tears spilling down from her blue eyes as she tucked the red locks behind her ears. “And I will come back, Tomi. I promise.” She hugged his stiff body once more and kissed his cheek one last time. That was the last time Tom saw Alexia. That was the last time anyone hugged him or kissed his cheek. He forced himself to forget about her._

I had forgotten about Alexia, I hadn’t even thought about my old best friend since the day she left Alice’s home to live with her new family. But when Bill wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek like that, all the memories I had of Alexia came back. Everything I had forced myself to forget about because the stupid faerie-boy had to come  _way_  too close to me!

Alexia was the only proof there was that I hadn’t always been so hard and distant from everyone. I honestly think that if Alexia hadn’t left after only three months, I wouldn’t be in here now. I’d probably be somewhere with her right now, actually talking. She was the only one who was ever allowed to call me Tomi, I didn’t even realize until I remembered her why it made me so mad whenever Bill called me it. I hated that name now, because only Alexia could call me it. Even at nine years old, I had known that I loved Alexia; she was my everything for those three months. She was the reason I stopped getting into fights at Alice’s, because when I did, I wasn’t allowed to play with her. 

Alexia was the first person I had ever opened up to, in my own weird way. I smiled at her and made her giggle without ever having to say a word. Once or twice she had even made me laugh, a sound she had told me then she would cherish forever. I doubt she even remembered me. I had forgotten her, so why shouldn’t she just forget about me too? It was only fair. 

Besides, even though Alexia was the reason that Alice knew I was more then just an empty shell, she was also the reason I became so cold and cruel the way I am now. After Alexia left, I was in a fight almost every other week. Right before I turned ten Alice told me that I couldn’t act out anymore, that she knew I missed Alexia but hurting the other kids wasn’t allowed. I glared at her. I didn’t want to hear Alexia’s name. I had forgotten about her, I didn’t need her. 

But even so, I didn’t fight for a week after that. The day after my tenth birthday though, Franklyn thought it would be a good idea to provoke me. He stole the wax for my dreadlocks first and told me I didn’t need it anymore. I was a nobody. Who did I need to impress with stupid Medusa snakes growing out of my head? I beat him black and purple after he said that. Managed to bruise every single one of my knuckles on both of my hands too. Franklyn ended up in the hospital with a few fractures, a missing tooth, and a broken nose. I ended up in here.

I absolutely hated Bill right now for doing this too me, hated him for bringing up memories that should long be forgotten! I hated him right now as much as I hated Alexia back then for leaving me. If she hadn’t been a girl, I would have punched her in the face. But Bill wasn’t a girl, so I should have punched him in the face. I think I had just been too shocked at the time to do it.

But deep down, I know that isn’t the reason. For even now, I don’t want to punch him in the face when he gets into this room. I know I won’t punch him for it. I know I won’t hurt him for it. Bill just looks too much like a girl to hit… that  _had_  to be the reason. I don’t hit girls, I never have and I never will. Once, Jamie said something to me that pissed me the fuck off. James ended up with a broken arm later that day because of his sister. I couldn’t hit Jamie, even though it was her who pissed me off.

 

 

 

“Just a normal day, streets turn into graves. Traces have been removed, the search was disapproved,” I heard him singing before he was even in the room. It made me smile on the inside, I was glad I brought my guitar in here. I started plucking at the strings and playing the song that was going to be forever burned into my head because of him, “So cold the nigh, the weak ones lose the fight. Too many of them out there, no one seems to care…” He was trailing off as he got closer to the room, I was sure he heard my playing.

He peeked into the room; I was still playing the song even though he had stopped singing it. He looked scared, I knew why. Up until I heard him singing, I had every intention of beating him over the head with my guitar. He  _was_  a boy and he wasn’t Alexia. I could hit him. I’m just going to convince myself I didn’t do it because I don’t want to break my guitar, and with Bill’s hard head, it would surely break. “Are you angry, Tom?” He asked in a small voice. I stared at him for a moment before I shook my head and looked back down at the guitar, starting over the chorus for him to sing.

He smiled and came into the room, walking over to his own bed and sitting on it as he sang the next lines to the song, “Lost and so alone, born but never known. Left all on their own, forgotten children…” He took a small breath before letting his eyes rest on me playing my guitar. I’m sure he thought I wasn’t paying attention to him, I also know that I  _shouldn’t_  be paying any attention to him. “We'll never hear a name, they carry all the blame. Too young to break the chains, forgotten children.”

He really did have a good voice, and he was amazing with words in a way I could never be. I don’t mean actually saying them either, I mean… coming up with them. Even my head, the biggest word I know is antidisestablishmentarianism… and I don’t have a fucking clue what it means. Only that it’s really long and someone had once said it was the longest word in the dictionary. “They see, they feel, believe. Just like we do. They're laughing, and crying. Wanna live here... Like me and you.”

I played the whole song for him again, and this time, he had sang the whole song for me. “They see, they feel, believe. Just like we do. They're laughing, and crying. Wanna live here... Like me and you…” If my mind hadn’t been in such a jumble of music, memories, and Bill’s voice, I probably would have shuddered. The words were beautiful… beyond so. I almost wish I could tell him that.

“Do you like it, Tom?” He asked me as though on cue with my thoughts, I did shudder that time. It was just too weird. But I flashed him my half smirk and nodded at him. Telling him with the smallest nod of my head that I did like it. I don’t think I had ever given Bill a direct yes or no answer before, I could tell it pleased him by the way his face lit up.

I shouldn’t care if he’s pleased or not really… I know I shouldn’t, but I like the way he smiled at me right now. It wasn’t with that ‘I’m going to fuck you’ look I had gotten from him since the day he came here, it was with this honest to god happy smile that he was pleased I liked his song. “I’m glad,” he said softly, I could tell he was serious, “I couldn’t have written it without you, Tomi.” I winced from the name; it didn’t piss me off this time… it hurt. A lot. I hadn’t hurt like that in over six years. 

“You seriously wrote like… the perfect music for it. Everything just wrote itself once I heard you play it. It all made sense, Yanno?” I didn’t know, I just stared at him and he giggled a little, I took in a deep breath and held it, “Maybe not… that’s right, you’re good with numbers, not words.” He sighed a little and leaned back on his hands, “Think about it this way, have you ever tried writing music for something but it doesn’t seem to fit? And then you just heard a noise- like, any noise from a toilet flushing to Georg screaming your name at you to get your attention and suddenly you just know how the whole thing has to go? It’s kinda like that. I just had an idea for this song, but nothing was fitting right. None of the words were going together the way I wanted them too. Then I heard you playing and it just all snapped into place, you’re music was like me hearing the words in my head. The way the song was supposed to go. It just… fit.”

I blinked a few times as I stared at him; no one had ever tried explaining something to me that way before. Putting something I love and understand into its own scenario to help me understand what  _they_  were trying to say. It worked… I knew what he meant. If I were to be completely honest with myself, which I haven’t been all day and I know this, it was Bill who had actually inspired the original riff itself. When I was helping him with his math before he went to group, he was tapping his pencil against the table and lightly humming a tune. My riff sounded nothing like he was humming, but I knew exactly what it was supposed to sound like because of it.

“Do you think you understand it now?” He asked me, I gave him a small nod again as I finally set my guitar down, sliding it under my bed so for something to do and not have to look at Bill anymore. “Good,” he said softly, I heard him yawning some and a rustling of his covers as I messed with the things under my bed to make the guitar fit comfortably, “So now you might kinda understand what I mean,” he mumbled tiredly, “When I say that it felt like you wrote it just for me. You made it all make sense to me.” He whispered softly, I turned my head a little only to see him pulling the covers over his shoulder from the corner of my eye, “Night, Tomi.”

I turned my head quickly so I couldn’t see him at all as I slid off the over-sized pants and crawled under my own covers. Maybe Bill was right, I knew the song itself because of something he did… maybe the song was written just for him. Not on purpose, but by some odd twist of fate, it was.

 

 

“No! NO! STOP IT!” The shrill screech from my roommate woke me from my sleep and my eyes instantly snapped open. The rooms were all locked, I knew he was the only one in here, I knew it was him waking me up for the second night in a row, if my book wasn’t behind my guitar right now, I’d throw it at him again. “PLEASE! STOP!” He screeched again, only then did his words register in my head. It wasn’t grunts and groans like last time, he was frightened. I quickly sat up and turned to look at Bill.

He was thrashing in his bed, covers thrown all around his thin body, half on the floor. Even in his sleep, his face was stricken with fear and the make-up he hadn’t taken off before he fell asleep was in angry black streaks down his cheeks from what looked like tears. “Anything but this! Please! Don’t!” Bill cried in his sleep again and I couldn’t stop myself from quickly getting out my bed. No one else was going to come check on him, kids had nightmares all the time here, we’re supposed to talk about them in group the next day.

“Gordon stop… please…” he cried, falling still, no longer thrashing but tears were still falling from his eyes. It was like some invisible force was holding him still. I knelt down by his bed, grabbing his hand and squeezing it some to try and wake him, I wasn’t getting any reaction from him. He was still crying and I didn’t know what to do. Not until Bill screamed out loud and started thrashing again. I stood up, both of my hands grabbing onto his shoulders and I shook him almost violently. It might not have been the best idea when he was screaming so obviously scared of this man named Gordon, but it had the result I wanted. 

Bill’s eyes had snapped open, he was breathing heavily and tears were still streaming from his eyes. “Tom?” He choked out, his eyes focusing in on me and I nodded, he let out another sob before his arms flew around my shoulders and he buried his face into my chest, crying silently into it. I could feel his tears soaking into my shirt and wetting my chest, he was still shaking. I didn’t know what to do… I wanted to push him off of me, he was way too close for comfort, and I wanted to scream in my own frustration. 

But despite my own body screaming in my head like it was on fire and despite my mind telling me to push him away and crawl back into my own bed, my arms wrapped back around him and one of my hands rubbed awkwardly at his back. That seemed to work… as weird as it was for me to do. Bill slowly stopped crying and shaking against and his hands that had fisted around my shirt let go. And just before I knew I was going to lose it from him being so close, Bill pulled away and wiped under his eyes with the back of his hands, smearing the already smeared make-up even more. 

“I’m sorry, Tom…” he said softly, sniffing back some and taking a deep breath. “It was just a nightmare. I haven’t had it in years, don’t worry about it.” He mumbled taking another breath before looking up at me with a sad smile, “Not that you are worried… I mean, you probably just wanted to yell at me for waking you up again.” Despite everything my entire being was screaming at me to do, I shook my head at him. I wasn’t mad at him, well, I wasn’t mad at him when I realized it was something bad and not another sex dream. Bill’s smile widened at me and he reached forward to run his fingers down my cheek.

I instantly pulled away and got up from the foot of his bed, walking back over to my own and shoving my loose dreadlocks over my shoulder to get it out of my face. He sighed a little bit and crawled back under the covers. He didn’t go back to sleep though, he just laid there, staring at my bed the rest of the night.

I only know that because I didn’t go back to sleep either. I had my back to the wall and was watching him. When I met Bill, I never thought I’d stay up with him half the night and most the morning just staring at him. But that’s exactly what I did, and he was just staring back.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**|| Bill’s POV ||**  
  
Tom and I broke so many rules just laying in our own beds that we were both surely going to get sent to lockdown for it. The clocks bright red numbers showed that it was seven am, and we were supposed to go to breakfast- neither of us even bothered moving from our beds. Breakfast was mandatory. All meals were mandatory. Eight o’clock came and passed and we skipped homework period as well, still just staring at each other as though we were watching the most interesting movie known to man. You’re not allowed to skip homework, ever. Nine-thirty and I was supposed to be in group, I still didn’t move from my bed. Tom didn’t either. I didn’t know how long we were going to just lay there watching each other blink and breathe.   
  
It was ten after ten when someone finally realized we were missing from daily activities; I remember seeing the clock change from the corner of my eyes when Lacy walked into our room. “Tom? Bill?” She asked, seeing that the both of us were still in bed. For the first time in hours, Tom and I looked away from each other and at our counselor at the door, “Is everything alright in here?” She asked, she looked worried. She was probably expecting a bloody (literally) mess when she walked in here, not the both of us just lying completely innocently in our own beds, curled under our covers.   
  
“Everything’s fine,” I told her, the first words I had spoken since I had tried to touch Tom and he pulled away from me. She eyed me a little suspiciously and I looked at her confused. That is, until I realized what a mess I must have looked right now. My make-up was still smeared across my cheeks from my crying last night. “Neither of us felt well this morning, so we didn’t want to move.” It wasn’t a lie.  
  
Watching Tom was indeed like watching a silent film. His face may have showed no emotion, but his eyes told a story about him. They glassed over some whenever he was loosing himself in thought. Then after he would blink three times exactly and his eyes would focus on me again. He had two dreadlocks that had minds of their own when they weren’t tied back, they would fall into his face and he used his middle three fingers to brush them back so they’d stop blocking his vision. Somehow, I felt like I knew what Tom was thinking. So what I told Lacy wasn’t a lie. Tom was so confused it was making him sick.  
  
“I will get you both excused from the rest of your days, but next time you guys aren’t feeling well, go to the nurse so no one has to be looking for you and you don’t get in trouble.” Tom was looking at me again, ignoring Lacy like he was so good at doing. “Now normally, Bill, I’d let you stay in bed the rest of the day, but you’re needed. You’re mother is here to see you as well,” she told me and I frowned, I didn’t want to get up, “So get cleaned up and change. I’ll be back in twenty minutes to come get you.” I sighed a nodded. I guess I couldn’t get out of everything.  
  
Once Lacy came back to get me, I was ready- hair and make up and all. “Tom, get some rest. You do have to go back to everything tomorrow.” Lacy told him before we left, it made me wanna laugh. Everything for Tom meant group, homework, and whatever the hell he wanted. But I’m sure Lacy just didn’t want him missing his session with her again. When our door was closed, I looked over at Lacy as we walked, “Why is my mom here today?” I asked her, fixing my shirt some so it hugged my stomach just right, “She normally doesn’t come until Fridays, and it’s only Tuesday, isn’t it?”  
  
“I’m afraid I’m not allowed to tell you, Bill. You’re mother just asked for us to bring you to her and not tell you anything else.” Lacy said and I frowned, what could have happened to make her come here so early?   
  
Lacy pushed open the door I was so used to coming into on Fridays, and I nearly squealed. Not just one, but two red heads were sitting at the table in there waiting for me. My mom, and my favourite cousin. “Lexie!” I did squeal her name, her head shot up and she squealed as well, jumping up from her seat and running at me. Her arms locked around my shoulders and mine around her waist as he gripped onto each other in a deathly tight hug.  
  
When you looked at the two of us, you’d never think we weren’t blood related. Lexie looked a lot like our family, especially my mom. It was probably the red hair that did it. But Lexie wasn’t really related to me, she was adopted when she was eight and I was nine by my Aunt Helen and Uncle Gordon. Gordon was my mom’s brother. We liked each other the instant we met.   
  
“Do they treat you absolutely horrible here, Billie?” She asked me, her voice over dramatic in her ‘acting’ way as her hands cupped my cheeks.   
  
I giggled and nodded, putting on my own play-acting voice we used whenever we turned something that should be serious into a joke, “Oh Lexie, it’s incredibly horrendous! They make me go to class every single day, even on the weekends. I don’t know how much more I can take!” I said to her, letting out a fake sob and let my head fall to her shoulder.   
  
Lexie laughed and just hugged me again, pulling me to sit next to her at the table. “Are you serious about the class thing?” She asked, her voice back to normal as she crossed one of her legs over the other, “Because really, that sucks ass.”  
  
I shrugged my shoulder a little and gave her a smile, “Yeah, I’m serious. It’s not so bad, though. You only really have about one or two classes a day. Just, different ones every day or so. Some kids don’t have to go to them, as long as they do all their homework, they’re good.” Really, the only kid that I knew that didn’t have to go to any classes at all was Tom, but he’d been here for five years and they knew he’d do his work without a fuss. “Next week, I’m going to be free of every Thursday from class. It’s English, and they said I was doing so well in it that as long as I do my work, I won’t have to go anymore.”  
  
“Bill, Alexia,” My mom said getting our attention off one another and back onto her. We sighed and looked over, my mom smiled at the two of us. “I need to go talk to your counselor to make sure everything’s set up right and ready, you two play nice for a little bit, okay?” We both nodded, though I was confused. What needed to be ready? I’d been here for two months now, what wouldn’t be ready for me?  
  
“Lexie… what was my mom talking about?” I asked her, frowning and looking over at my cousin. She knew something I didn’t, and I didn’t like that fact.   
  
“Auntie Simone just has to make sure it’s all set up for me being here. Mom couldn’t bring me because she’s home taking care of Gordon. She has to get all the information and whatnot to give to my mom when she gets back over there.” That didn’t help at all.  
  
It only confused me even more and I frowned deeply at Lexie, “What are you talking about? Being here, as in… like… being forced to stay here like me?” I asked her and she nodded, shrugging one of her shoulders. My eyes grew wide and I hit her in the arm, “Alexia Marie Trumper! What on god’s green earth did you do?!” I snapped at her and Lexie just shrugged her shoulder again.  
  
“Nothing terribly  _bad_. I wasn’t sleeping with half the town and then some,” She said and I winced. “All I did, was try to kill Gordon and the psychiatrist said that I have… god what was it? Oh, deeply rooted anger issues towards my birth mother for giving me up when I was little and I was now taking it out on my parents. That it wasn’t going to get any better without some professional help.” Alexia said and laughed, “God, they’re idiots! I really give two shits about my birth mother, she was a druggie and I was happy to get away from her. Gordon just deserved it.”  
  
“Oh did he?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring slightly at my cousins, “Tell me, Lexie. What exactly did Gordon do so bad that meant you had to  _kill_  him to make it all better? Huh? And then get your ass sent here?!”  
  
Lexie’s eyes were dark as she looked at me, the blue that was usually so bright was almost black, and it almost scared me. “You should know, Bill.” She said, crossing her arms over her chest, “Since it’s what he did to you that makes him deserve to die.”  
  
My face paled and I gapped at her, no one knew about that. I hadn’t ever told anyone! How did Lexie find out?  
  
  
  
 _He was only twelve years old, hair dyed black and spiked up in the back. He had good life, pretty much a perfect life. He was rich, had the best of everything, and had the most amazing family that adored him as much he as adored them. In the preteens mind, nothing could ever go wrong.  
  
His mom was gone for the weekend though, on a business trip that was surely to get her the promotion she had been waiting for the last year, so the dark haired boy agreed that he’d stay with her sisters’ family for the weekend without a fuss. He liked it over there though; he loved to hang out with Alexia. She was his exact double- in girl form at least. He didn’t like to remember a time before his aunt and uncle adopted the red headed eight year old, before her- life was pretty boring. Even if he did have absolutely anything he wanted.  
  
“Bill! Get down here, it’s after midnight, you and Alexia are not staying up all night!” Both of the preteens giggled behind their hands when they heard Gordon yelling for Bill to get downstairs. Ever since he was ten, he and Alexia weren’t allowed to share a room at night. It wasn’t because they were boy and girl- it was because they wouldn’t sleep and would end up passing our near noon the next day and sleep the rest of the next day.  
  
“Ten more minutes, Uncle Gordon? Pleeease?” Bill called from Alexia’s open door. He knew he wouldn’t get his way, but it was worth a shot.  
  
“Bill Trumper, now! You and Alexia will have plenty of time to play in the morning!” He called again and Bill sighed. He had been fighting a losing battle from the start though. Whenever Uncle Gordon said you had to do something, you had to do it. But there wasn’t a day that went by after that that Bill hadn’t wished to god he had disobeyed his uncle and locked himself in Alexia’s room with her.   
  
Gordon was angry when Bill got down there; Gordon was drunk when he got down there too. He didn’t get drunk often, its was extremely rare, just when he had a _really _bad day at work and him a few of the guys would go out and have drinks afterwards. In Bill’s whole life, he had only ever seen his uncle drunk once before now, and that was when he was seven.  
  
Bill yelped when his uncle grabbed his arm and dragged him to the game room, started crying when his pants were pulled down with his boxers and he was spanked for disobeying him, and was broken that night when his drunken uncle forced him on the bed and raped the screaming and crying Bill._  
  
  
  
Alexia had found out by finding my old journal from when I was twelve. It was hidden in a box in the back of my walk in closet with about a hundred other notebooks and old journals I kept in there. I’d kept one from when I was seven until I started sleeping around when I was thirteen. So she tried killing my uncle because of what he did to me.  
  
It was sweet… in a really weird and creepy kind of way. It was a little after noon before I was allowed to go back to my room, and by that time, I really was starting to feel sick. As sick as I did the night it happened. It was never talked about between Uncle Gordon and I. I never told on him, he was drunk; he didn’t know what he was doing. That’s what I had been telling myself for the last three years. When I had woken up the next morning, sore and bruised, Uncle Gordon just acted like nothing had happened. He made waffles for Alexia and I, and took us to the movies like he had promised the day before. Part of me wonders if he even remembered doing it.  
  
I was never the same around him again though. I was always a bit quieter, a little less animated and never  _ever_  did something against what he said. If he said jump, I would ask how high.   
  
Tom was sleeping when I came back into the room, and I couldn’t help but let a smile cross over my lips when I saw him there. He looked peaceful, relaxed. I loved seeing Tom like that. He face wasn’t as relaxed as it was most nights, meaning he was dreaming about something. I could always tell the difference. The longer I stood with my back against the door and watched him though, the more discontented his face was looking. He looked… upset. Really upset about something.   
  
Tom rolled over in his bed, curling to himself as his eyes fluttered a bit but rested back against his cheeks. “Alexia… don’t go…” My jaw dropped as I heard the words fall from Tom’s sleeping lips. I nearly fell over, and probably would have had I not been leaning against the wall.  
  
Whenever I thought about Tom talking, I always imagined his voice being a little hoarse, rougher and a lot deeper then that. But it wasn’t. It was extremely soft, extremely sweet. It was almost like mix of my voice and Georg’s. Not as light as mine, but not as deep as Georg’s. It was perfect for him, in every way. And I couldn’t believe I heard it. No one would ever believe me.  
  
It took me another twenty minutes of just getting my head around the fact that I had heard his voice before another thought pressed into my mind. I might have never thought about it if my own cousin hadn’t come here today. Who was his Alexia?


	9. Chapter 9

  
**|| Tom’s POV ||**

I continued to stare where Bill had been lying after Lacy took him from the room. I was so confused, I couldn’t decide whether or not I was grateful that Lacy took him away, or pissed at her. I knew I should be grateful, any other time I would have been grateful. But some part of me wanted Bill to still be lying in that bed across from mine. Part of me wanted to keep watching him do absolutely nothing.

And the other part of me knew that was an absolutely insane thing to want. Bill Trumper was going to be the death of me, he was confusing more then anyone had ever before in my whole life, I don’t get what was so different about him compared to anyone else I know. He’s more annoying then anyone I know, but when he’s not acting like a total selfish diva slut, he’s actually pretty okay to be around. Actually, when he wasn’t acting like that, he reminded me a lot of Alexia. That should be what wants me to get away from him even more, I didn’t want to remember Alexia. But because of him, I did. 

I finally fell asleep only about twenty minutes after he had gone, and I swear, I am never going to sleep again. I usually don’t dream, and when I do- it’s just a jumble of shit that really doesn’t mean anything at all. Like I once dreamed I was hugging a penguin… I’ve never even seen a penguin in person before. 

But once I fell asleep this time, all my dreams were just old memories. And pretty much all of them having to do with Alexia in some way. Fuck, if I ever see her again, I’m running in the other direction so she can’t even tell it’s me. 

Some of the dreams were a little fucked though; they weren’t exactly memories, though Alexia was in them- Bill was too. Alexia and I were sitting on the couch watching some Care Bears movie she just  _had_  to see, but Bill was there too. Sitting Indian style on the other side of the red headed girl. They were sitting the same way. Their hands moved to the bowl of popcorn between them at the same time. They giggled identically at the same parts. It was like they were the same person. 

Bill reminded me of Alexia. When I woke up, everything slowly put itself together in my mind, I hated Bill so much the second I saw him because in the back of my mind, he was just like the girl that I hated so much. But just like she had- Bill was breaking through my cold shell. Only, I’m older now and different then I was then, so it was harder for him to do. But now it made sense why I couldn’t hit him. I couldn’t hit Alexia either, even if she was next to me trying to hug me again, I wouldn’t be able to hit her.

“Good morning, Tom.” I heard Bill’s voice. It sounded so sweet to me and the lopsided grin he wore just confused the hell out of me even more then usual. I just looked at him blankly for a moment before I pushed my covers off of me and stood up, stretching out my tight limbs. Wait… morning? How long was I out? I looked at the clock and sure enough the bright red numbers read six-forty five with the tiny AM next to them. Holy fuck, maybe I really was sick.

“There’s a new kid in our group class, she’s taken over your spot and Lacy asked me to show her around this morning. So I’ll meet you in homework later.” He told me, turning back to the dirty mirror and checking to make sure his make-up was absolutely perfect. I don’t care that he wasn’t going to be with me this morning; I don’t know why he was telling me. “See ya, Tomi!” He said in his chipper voice before he was nearly skipping out the room.

I flinched from the name, I wish there was a way I could tell him to stop calling me that without actually saying it to him. That boy makes not speaking hard as fuck to do. I had run to take a quick shower before heading down to breakfast, taking a seat next to Georg when I got down there. Being around Bill was starting to scare me as much as Georg liking me did. “Morning, Tom.” Georg said happily when I sat down next to him. “You still look like shit, man. Lacy said you weren’t feeling well yesterday.”

I rolled my eyes at my friend as Gustav laughed from Georg’s blunt statement. Both of them suck. Come to think of it, humans in general just suck. “You should sleep more, Tom,” Gustav said, I could have shuddered at the thought. I had slept enough to last me a lifetime, I was never sleeping again, “It’ll get rid of the bags under your eyes.” How the fuck was there bags under my eyes?! You would think that eighteen plus hours of sleep would be more then enough to make any bags under someone’s eyes disappear.

I was so grateful when Georg noticed my discomfort about Gustav saying shit about me and changed the subject almost instantly, “Who was that girl Bill was eating with this morning? He walked off with her too.” He asked Gustav, our drummer knew just about everything that went on here, mainly because he paid more attention then anyone else.

As expected, Gustav sighed and shook his head at Georg, “Honestly, Georg. Don’t you ever pay attention to anything that goes on around us?” Georg just shook his head, which caused Gustav to glare at him slightly, “That’s the new girl in our group class. She asked Bill to show her around; apparently he knows her or something like that so it would be easier on her if he did it rather then someone else.” If I remember correctly, Andreas had been who showed Bill around this place.

“Oh, well, fine then.” Georg said, though I saw him flash a smile at me. It told me he knew exactly what Gustav was talking about, but it had distracted him from me at least. I really shouldn’t be too cold to Georg anymore… I mean, he never acts upon whatever feelings he has for me. So I shouldn’t be so mean to him. He’s only ever been nice to me. “Oh shit!” Georg hissed, looking at one of the clocks on the wall- all the clocks in this place were the same. Black circles stuck to every wall with bright red numbers. “It’s almost eight, Gustav we got to get to English before we’re killed.” He said, quickly standing up and grabbing Gustav’s arm, “See ya at lunch Tom!” Georg called to me as he dragged off our other friend.

 

 

I was bored in homework; I’d finish the math shit I was supposed to be working on three days ago and didn’t feel like starting anymore of it, science and history work was done as well. When you don’t have classes and just a shit load of free time, you manage to get homework done a lot faster and earlier then you have to. I wish I could just leave the room right now and go back to my own and mess around with my guitar- I still hadn’t taken it back to the music room yet. 

Normally, I was helping Bill with his math work about now, but he still wasn’t in here. I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed at the fact, and that scared me even more then before. For the first twenty minutes I had worked on the paper I had to do for English, but I ended up finishing that too- even if I knew it was going to get a ‘C’ tops. I just can’t put my thoughts into words on the paper, its seriously impossible for me. 

“And this is the homework room, where you’re going to spend every single morning from nine to ten thirty in before we go group. Think you understand everything now?” I heard Bill’s voice as he walked into the room and felt my stomach turn a bit. He must have been talking to the new chick Gustav had mentioned at breakfast- he had mentioned her this morning as well I think. But I wasn’t too sure. I frowned though, realizing what he said. This new girl was going to be in here everyday with us… I was so used to having everything by myself, that this instantly pissed me off. Bill was one thing, I was getting used to having him around. Though I’ll  _never_  say that I actually like it. Some stupid girl was just going to piss me off and since Bill is the only boy around, he’s going to end up getting hurt.

“Yeah, I think I got it now. Thanks, Billie.” I heard the girl say and I felt my stomach turn even more. Her voice… sounded almost familiar to me. Why, I wasn’t sure. I peeked up from the paper I was drawing random lines on to see the two walking in the room and I felt my heart stop beating when I laid eyes on the girl.

A red headed girl who was standing next to Bill. A red headed girl with straight hair and bright blue eyes. A red headed girl who moved exactly like Bill did. A red headed girl whose bright blue eyes widened when she saw me sitting at the table. “Oh, yay! Tomi you’re still in here.” Bill said with a happy squeal, but I didn’t really register it, I was to busy staring at the girl behind him. “Tomi, this is my cousin Alexia- she’s going to be in our homework from now on. Alexia, this is my roommate-”

“Tom!” Alexia squeaked, clapping her hands together and jumping on her toes. “Oh my god! I can’t believe you’re here!” Bill looked confused, his eyes going from his over excited cousin to a shocked and pissed off me. “Billie! Th-that’s my Tomi! The one I told you about when we were little, I know it’s him!” She squeaked and Bill’s own eyes widened. 

“Wait, what?!” He yelped, his honey coloured brown eyes growing as wide as mine had when I first saw Alexia walk into the room, “ _My_  Tom is that Tom kid you knew before you were adopted?” He asked, and Alexia nodded. I don’t think this could get any worse right now. I felt like crawling in a hole and dying. No wonder Bill reminded me so much of this girl! Bill spent the last six years of his life around her!

“I… I’m sure it’s him.” She said, I was still in too much shock to move. “He looks just like him, and he’s not saying anything. And he has dreadlocks like my Tomi did.” I wish she’d stop calling me ‘her Tomi’. I wasn’t hers. I wasn’t Bill’s either. “I know that he’s my Tomi.” I wished they’d stop talking about me like I wasn’t in the room. I wish that I really wasn’t in the room. I was wishing for a lot of useless things right now. 

“Oh holy hell,” Bill said, smiling widely as though something suddenly made sense to him. “This is perfect! I’m so sure Tom is happy to see you then!” Happy to see her?! HAS HE LOST HIS FUCKING MIND!? I hate Alexia more then I hate him! I glared at the pair of them, my fingers turning into fists on the table.

“I’m not so sure…” Alexia said, her smile turning into a frown as she noticed the glare from me at the both of them, “He looks mad…” She frowned even deeper as she brought one of her hands up to her mouth, “I remember that look, it’s the ‘Fuck off before I kill you’ look he gave to Franklyn every day at Aunt Alice’s.”

Bill just shook his head, “No. I  _know_  he’s happy to see you,” Bill said, pushing Alexia’s back and forcing her to come closer to me. I stiffened the closer she was getting. 

Alexia gave me a once look over before a smile spread across her red painted lips, “Tomi, I have missed you  _so_  much.” She said softly, reaching one of her hands out to me like she wanted a hug. I wouldn’t let her touch me. Instead, my hand moved up from the table and wrapped tightly around her wrist, she gasped in pain and her eyes grew wide at me. “Tomi…” She whispered, my hand only grew tighter around the delicate limb in its grasp- any tighter and I was sure I could break it, especially with the painful tears in her eyes.

I roughly forced her hand down and away from me before pushing myself up from the chair I was in and walking right out the door. There was only ten minutes left in there, they’d get over me leaving. I could hear both their voices when I walked out of the room, but I didn’t bother trying to hear what they said. I didn’t give two  _shits_  about what was said.

 

 

“So Alexia says she knows you, Tom.” Lacy spoke softly; she had just been watching me for the first ten minutes of our group session. I was still pissed off. I run out of the lunch room as soon as Alexia and Bill walked in there, and since after homework I didn’t have anything to do until I was supposed to be in here, I spent the entire time outside. It was cold, and the icy air burned against my skin as I ran, but it had made me feel better at the time. The only thing I could think of when I was out there was that I was cold, but I couldn’t stop running. I didn’t even know it was time for group until Georg came outside to find me. 

I had punched his shoulder hard not knowing it was him at first. It bruised up instantly, and I felt almost bad about it. But Georg understood. I was in a bad mood; he shouldn’t have came up to me out of the blue like that. But he was only looking out for me so I didn’t get sent to lockdown again- I should be more careful around him. “I’m taking that you’re not too happy she’s here.” Lacy said when she didn’t even get me to look up from the ground. “No one has ever seen you so mad. Andreas said he even saw you hit Georg when he came to get you from outside.” Of course Andreas would tell on me. Who the fuck cares? “Georg says it was an accident though, and that he’s fine, so you’re not in trouble.” She assured me. I didn’t care. As a matter of fact, I think I would prefer lockdown right about now.

“Tom Kaulitz, it would be so much better for you if you would just  _talk_  to someone. It’s not healthy to keep all that anger and frustration inside of you. It’s why you get into fights, why you get in so much trouble. What did Alexia do that upset you so badly?” I glowered at hearing her name again. She should just go die, her and Bill both. Okay… maybe not Bill- technically he hadn’t done anything wrong, but still, I didn’t like him right now at all.

“You know what, Tom.” Lacy said, her voice suddenly more stern then I had ever heard it before. “You’re not leaving this room until I hear something from you. I don’t care what it is. We’ll sit here for the next month and a half for all I care. But you’re not leaving until you say something. I’m not stupid, I  _know_  you can. So get rid of this, ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude you have for half a minute and say two words.” I had never heard her like this, I knew she was serious. 

I glared at her; I wasn’t just going to sit here for the next month staring at her. I wasn’t going to spend another minute in here with her. She wanted two words? Fine. I’ll give her two goddamn words. I stood up from the chair and my glare on her was icy cold. “Fuck you.” I said to her before I turned my back and walked out of the room.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**|| Bill’s POV ||**  
  
“Oh holy hell! Lexie, are you alright?” I yelped as Tom stormed out of the room and my cousin was holding her hand to her chest with tears in her blue eyes. I couldn’t believe that Tom had done that to her! I heard his words yesterday, I _know_  I had. And since my Lexie was his Alexia, I was so sure he would be happy to see her! He hadn’t wanted her to leave… so why did he freak out so badly? “I can’t believe he did that to you.”  
  
“I’m fine, Billie,” Lexie said with a soft sigh, looking down at her wrist that was already rapidly turning purple from how hard Tom had a grip on it. She laughed a little, flexing her fingers and shaking her head. At least it wasn’t broken, she wouldn’t be able to move her fingers much if it was, “You can’t?” She said, looking at me with a raised brow, “Billie, you’ve spent the last few months around him. When we were kids, Tom had a really bad temper. I’m not so surprised that it’s gotten worse in the last six years.” She said, shaking her head some, “I’m not surprised at all.”  
  
I frowned, sitting down on one of the chairs as Lexie did the same, “I  _am_  surprised. He’s never once hurt me at all. And we’re so much alike! And everyone says so surely that Tom doesn’t hurt girls. Yet, he nearly broke your wrist! You can’t blame me for being surprised, Lexie.” I tapped one of my long polished nails against my lips as Lexie examined her wrist a little more, “Are you okay?” I asked her again.  
  
“Yeah, he only bruised the skin. Nothing permanent. And before you even  _think_  about saying something, I’m not going to get it looked at ‘properly’. They’ll want to know what happened and then Tom will get in trouble for hurting someone. I don’t need him to be anymore pissed at me then he already is.”  
  
“Why is he so pissed at you, Lexie? You said he was your best friend at that Alice lady’s place…” I didn’t get it, how could someone Lexie said she got along with so well suddenly hate her more then he hated me in the beginning? We didn’t have time for me to find out though; we had to be in group. After group, Lexie, Lacy, and I sat alone in the room and Lexie told the stories. Lacy was surprised. She asked if Tom had talked even once then, Lexie assured her she hadn’t. But Tom had been very open with her.   
  
  
  
 _She was eight and he was nine, though anything she knew about him when she first walked up to him was only what she had been told. His name was Tom Kaulitz, and he’d been here for almost a year. ‘He doesn’t talk, he’s a freak.’ Another little girl had told her. The second girl was blonde; she had soft curls that framed her face and a bratty attitude. She was Alice’s only real child. ‘You seem pretty cool, Alexia. You can play with us. And stay away from Tom, he’s really mean.’  
  
The blonde girls name was Monica; she was eleven. All the little girls here followed Monica like she was a queen. Alexia didn’t want to, she didn’t like the way she made fun of the boy she had asked about. ‘No, thank you. I think I’m going to go talk to Tom for awhile.’ Alexia had told the older girl, getting up from the ground and walking into the nearly deserted office-like room.  
  
Alice had told her that no one was allowed in there. Monica had told her that Tom was allowed in there because it was better for him when he was away from the other kids because he liked to hit them. But when he was alone, Tom didn’t cause any problems. He was putting a gooey thick white substance in his hair that she later learned was the wax that let him have his dreadlocks, she thought they were cool.  
  
“You’re kinda cute,” She had said to him, he ignored her though. Alexia tried not to let it phase her too much, “I like your hair, have you been doing that for a long time?” She asked the dreaded boy. He still said nothing to her, only tugged on a different dreadlock every other moment or so.   
  
She hadn’t wanted to believe that the girl was right when she said Tom didn’t talk, but it seemed she hadn’t been lying. “They told me you didn’t talk, I didn’t really believe them. I guess it is true though. I’m Alexia, I know you’re name is Tom.” She said with a smile, the blonde dreadlocked boy only wiped his hands clean on his pants that were way too big on him. Alexia wasn’t sure how he could wear clothes so big for him. “Come with me, Tom,” She said, taking his hand he had just gotten the wax off of, “I brought some Lego’s with me, I think you’d like them.”  
  
From that day, she and the dreadlocked boy, Tom, were friends. She was the only one that Tom wouldn’t play rough with. Alexia refused to think of it as Tom just being mean to the other kids. Then, she didn’t think she’d be taken away from Tom so soon. So she let herself get close to him. He let himself get close to her.  
  
  
  
“Tomi, I’m cold.” She had whined, pouting at her older friend sitting next to her on the couch. Once a week, Alice would go to the movie store and pick out a movie for everyone to watch together. It was a treat for them all. All of the fourteen kids in the house would gather around the TV in the living room. Seven bowls of popcorn were made and each sat in a pair to share said popcorn. Before Alexia had come there- Tom had never partaken in movie night. He would go to his room and listen to music instead.   
  
Sometimes, neither of them watched the movie. On those days Alexia would follow Tom into his room and listen to his music. She didn’t really like it, but she liked the face Tom made when he listened to it. So she dealt with the bad music.  
  
But tonight, Alexia wanted to see the movie. Alice had picked up Aladdin from the movie store, and Alexia had never been able to see it before. She told Tom she really wanted to see it, so Tom let her take his hand and lead him into the living room. They sat close to each other on the couch, Tom resting against the arm of it watching the movie with a very bored expression on his face. The only thing keeping any distance between was the little bowl of popcorn Alexia was eating- Tom didn’t like popcorn.  
  
“Tomi, make me warmer.” Alexia demanded when Tom ignored her the first time. Her demand got his attention and he looked over at her. He didn’t look very happy; he didn’t like to be ordered around. But she gave him a small pout and Tom opened his arms. She smiled then and moved the popcorn away before she crawled into her best friends open arms. “Thank you, Tomi.” She said softly before resting her head on his shoulder. They had fallen asleep together like that by the end of the movie. They never got to see the end of it, for two days later- Alexia would be leaving.  
  
  
  
“Tomi,” She said, sitting next to him in Alice’s office. He was plucking strings on the small cheap guitar Alice had gotten him. With his refusal on letting Alice get him new clothes, she had bought him the Guitar instead. Well, in all reality it was Tom’s money, so he could get what he wanted with it. Alexia remembered when Tom came home from the store with her. She had never seen him look so happy. With his own money, he had bought a really pretty white and black guitar. Alice bought him this smaller one to practice on, since the other one was still too big for him.  
  
“Tomi… I need to tell you something.” Alexia said again and Tom gave her a small nod, still plucking at the strings of the guitar. She knew he was listening, even if he wasn’t looking at her. He was playing funny, meaning he wasn’t paying much attention. “Do you remember that family that I met yesterday?” She asked, and Tom nodded once again, his fingers freezing on the strings. He knew what was coming next. “They’re going to adopt me, Tomi. They want to be my new mommy and daddy.” Tom became completely still, his face turning more static then she’d seen it in a long while, she gulped back a little. “I know I promised I wasn’t ever going to leave Tom…” She said softly, “But Alice says I deserve a mommy and daddy who will love me. They’re going to come get me tomorrow.”   
  
Alice had offered to tell Tom for her, in case Tom got angry and rough with her. But Alexia knew she should tell him, she knew she had to say good-bye the next day anyways. And she knew Tom would never, ever hurt her.  
  
The next day, Alexia did say good-bye. “And I will come back, Tomi. I promise.” She had told him, Tom wasn’t even listening to her anymore. She gave him another hug, but he seemed like he didn’t even know she was there. Tears were sliding down her cheeks as she left. Until the day she died, she was going to regret never coming back to see Tom. Never writing or calling to find out how he was. She never came back to him- she broke her promise. She never knew how much Tom was going to hate her for it._  
  
  
  
After Lexie had told her stories and memories of a little Tom, which was probably the cutest thing I had ever heard of in my life, everything made a little more sense to me. Tom’s hatred for Lexie was because she had hurt him, she had lied to him. His hatred for me was because of how much Lexie and I were alike. It made sense, but that didn’t make any of it fair.  
  
It didn’t give him the right to hurt my cousin because she hurt him six years ago. I was angry with him; he was acting like such a baby. And I was  _not_  happy with him to say the very least. “TOM KAULITZ!” I yelled as I walked into our free period. I got both of the G’s attention on me, but not Tom’s. He just continued to pluck at the strings of that stupid guitar, some tune I hadn’t heard him play before. But not even that was making me any less angry with him. “What the _fuck_  is your malfunction? And don’t even pretend you don’t hear me, because I know you do!” I was getting tired of his fucking silence all the time. I knew he  _could_  talk, he needed to stop being such a little monster!  
  
That got his attention though; he stopped playing the guitar, one of his hands griping around the neck of it as he shot me a glare that could melt steal. But not even that phased me right now, “It was six god damn years ago, Tom! Get over it! She only wanted to be nice to you now!” I screamed at him, the G’s looked from one another. My glare at Tom moved to them for a moment and they got the hint.   
  
“Uhm… I have that thing… that thing I gotta do. Gustav, wanna help?” Georg asked him, and Gustav just nodded, setting down his drumsticks as Georg put down his bass and they both left the room faster then I had ever seen anyone walk.   
  
“You had  _no_  right to hurt her, Tom.” I hissed, walking over to my angry dreadlocked roommate as he put down his Guitar, obviously planning on leaving the room as well. I wasn’t having any of that! “Her entire wrist is purple with your fucking handprint! No one is stupid, everyone knows you did it. You’re just lucky you’re not in lockdown for that shit because Alexia was  _nice_  and refuses to say you did it! Even though you were such a complete ASS to her!”  
  
Tom growled at me a bit, low in his throat before shaking his head and pushing me out of his way to get towards the door. I snarled at him and grabbed the back of his shirt, curling my claw-like nails into the fabric so he couldn’t leave, “I don’t think so, Tom! You are not just walking away from me because you don’t want to hear this. But it’s true! Alexia didn’t do anything wrong! Nothing! So why did you have to be such an ass? TELL ME!”  
  
He still said nothing, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. I knew he was a millisecond away from punching, but I didn’t care. I wanted answers. “You had a dream about her last night, Tom. I know you did. You said Alexia’s name in your sleep. You asked her not to go.” We both knew I was right, Tom spun around on his heal and I flinched, completely ready for his fist to hit the first part of me it could find.  
  
But that never happened. Instead, I felt Tom’s fingers lace into my hair and he pulled on it hard, forcing my head back. It felt like he was going to rip my hair right from my head! “FUCKING HELL TOM, LET GO! YOU CAN’T JUST HURT ME BECAUSE I’M TELLING YOU SOMETHING THAT YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR!” I didn’t mean to yell that as loud as I did, but it hurt like a bitch. I would much rather have preferred him punching me then to pulling my hair like this.  
  
At my words, Tom’s hand only tightened and curled more into my hair, pulling on it harder and I felt my knees buckling some, “Oooow! Tom let go, that really hurts!” I whined, my nails clawing into his arm, wrist, and hand that was holding onto my hair. I knew I had cut him, and badly too- I could feel the blood from his arm coating my hands quickly. But it still didn’t make him let go. I didn’t even know if he felt the pain he should be feeling.   
  
The harder he tugged, the more I felt like my hair was being ripped from my head. I scratched at his face, he had long three cuts from my nails running down his cheek, but he still didn’t let go. He didn’t even flinch. What kind of person could handle this and act like he wasn’t being hurt? I hit and punched and scratched at him, but he still wouldn’t let go. His grip was only pulling more and I felt tears starting to fall from my cheeks.   
  
I realized almost too late that hurting Tom back wasn’t going to work, so I did the exact opposite of that. Both of my hands wrapped around the back of his neck and I pulled him to me instead, pressing my lips hard against Tom’s. It worked in a strange twisted sort of way. I first felt his hand loosen up on my hair and the pain of it being ripped out wasn’t there anymore and I was just left with a throbbing pain instead.   
  
As soon as he let me go, I should have pulled away from his lips and run as fast as I could away from him before he really did kill me. But I couldn’t. I was kissing Tom now and I didn’t want to stop. I wrapped my hands around a few of his dreadlocks and pulled myself closer to him, kissing him harder then before. I expected him to push me away at least, but I was surprised once again.  
  
Tom’s arms didn’t push me away this time, they wrapped around my middle and he pulled me even closer then before and from that point on- Tom was kissing me back. I knew there was no passion from either of us in this kiss. It was nothing but anger. Nothing but frustration. I tugged on his dreadlocks and forced my pierced tongue into his mouth, Tom didn’t object. He only sucked on my tongue, moving so he had me pressed up against one of the walls and kissed me even harder then before. He let my tongue from his mouth, sucking my lip between his teeth and biting down on it. I gasped out in pain and I felt him drawing blood. Though I wasn’t bleeding near as much as he was, I could feel his own blood on my face already from the deep cuts on his cheek.  
  
I dragged my nails down his back, had he not been wearing two thick shirts, I know I would have cut him there as well. He pressed his tongue passed my lips and into my mouth, urging his body closer to mine until our hips were touching and a moan escaped my lips and into our kiss.  
  
The pleasure filled sound coming from me must have woken him up from whatever trance he had been in. He pulled out of the kiss and was looking at me with wide eyes, hands on either side of my head now as his dark eyes bore into my honey coloured ones. He was breathing as heavy as I was; even through the shirts I could see how fast his chest was rising and falling.   
  
Tom looking at me like that scared me more then any look he had ever given me before. It held so many emotions in his eyes that I couldn’t even pin point one of them for sure. One of Tom’s hands moved off the wall and gripped my chin, making it impossible for me to look away from him. He pressed his lips hard against mine one more time, biting at my already cut lip one more time before pushing away from me and letting me go. Without another glance in my direction, Tom walked out of the music room and left me alone in there.  
  
I was still breathing hard, one of my hands clutching at my chest over my rapidly beating heart. I couldn’t think straight, my mind was a blur and I my breathing didn’t want to go back to normal for some strange odd reason. What the  _fuck_ had just happened?!


	11. Chapter 11

  
**|| Tom’s POV ||**

I left the room and ran straight outside. It was later, so the night was colder, but I didn’t care. Even though the wind that hit my skin the second I was out there stung the cuts on my face and neck pretty bad and did nothing to help the bleeding from the deeper cuts that he had left in my arm. If anything, I think it made it worse. My shirts were both soaked with the blood. If I were to be honest, this really fucking hurt. Every cut from the diva’s long claw-like nails throbbed against the freezing air of late in the November month. By now, I was sure that the blood that had been seeping through the cuts had now frozen everything shut. I probably looked a mess; I probably looked like I was mauled by a starving raccoon.

I looked around the grounds after running aimless for god knows how long and spotted what I was looking for only thirty or so feet away from me. On the entire grounds of this place, there were five willow trees. And they were all clumped together on the far side of the grounds that we were allowed to go on. Lacy had once told us that this place got its name from those trees, and there used to be a lot more, lining everywhere on the ground. But most of them had been cut down by now and only the five of them remained. Most of the kids stayed clear of the willow trees, claiming they freaked them out. But I liked them. 

I don’t know how long I was out there, hidden under the long branches of the trees. It’d be impossible to see me at a normal glance. All I knew is that the sun had gone down a while ago; taking away the little heat that there was out here. It was fucking freezing cold out here now, even with my arms wrapped painfully around my legs that were pulled to my chest. I was shivering, so I knew I should go back inside. But for the life of me, I couldn’t will myself to move. I was like a frozen popsicle sitting on the cold ground out there. When did it get so cold? I needed to go inside… for quite a few reasons. One, I was sure I was going to freeze to death if I couldn’t get my body to move soon. Two, the dried and caked on blood was starting to make me feel sick to my stomach. And three, there already wasn’t a chance I was going to get out of lockdown this time. Everyone must be back in the building before sunset. No exceptions. And the sun had set forever ago.

My head was getting dizzy and I was getting tired, and I still couldn’t move. My eyes felt heavy and I couldn’t see things straight anymore. I think I just needed some sleep… then I’d be okay. “Tom?” I could vaguely hear Lacy’s voice calling for me and I just ignored it. I was sleepy, she needed to go away. I was getting warmer too, so it didn’t matter anymore to me if I stayed out here or not. “Tom, are you out here?” I was, but I wasn’t going to answer her. Lacy’s voice was going away now anyways, so I didn’t care anymore.

 

 

It took me awhile to figure out why I was laying in his bed under covers all snug like I had been tucked in or something. I didn’t remember coming in here, hell, at first, I didn’t even know where I was. But the room slowly focused in and I could have screamed. If the white covers that laid over me weren’t enough indication, Ms. Layview’s voice was. I was in the infirmary. Last time I had been in here was because I had broken a few of my knuckles- which had healed up nicely thanks to her, but right now, I wasn’t happy. I didn’t have any reason to be in here.

“All in all, Tom seems like he’ll be okay.” I heard her saying to someone, “He was freezing when you got him in here, and that was a mix from loss of blood and being outside for so long. But his body temperature is up now and all his cuts are clean and wrapped up, so once he wakes up, I’ll check his vitals and I’m sure he’ll be fine.” Great, so someone had found me and brought me in here.

“Good,” I heard another voice and closed my eyes tight in annoyance, it was Lacy. She must have found me after I fell asleep, “For the record, Beth, you’re sure there wouldn’t have been a way that he could have come back in the building on his own last night?” She asked. 

“Yes,” I heard the doctor tell her, “From his loss of blood alone it was amazing he got where he was. Plus the icy air? It wouldn’t have been possible for Tom to have come back inside on his own.” She sounded so sure, well at least it made sense why I couldn’t move, “I’m curious, Lacy. Why did you want to be so sure?”

I heard Lacy sigh and I could imagine the way her arms would cross over his chest, “He was out after dark, and the rules say that I have to put him in lockdown for it. But, if he couldn’t move, then there isn’t a reason to put in him in lockdown.” I heard Ms. Layview mumble something quietly and Lacy laugh, “You’re right, I don’t want to send him down there. I’m doing everything I can to keep him out. Tom has spent more time in an enclosed room then anyone else that has come here. He’s not a bad kid, Beth. He’s just really confused. And things are getting harder for him with Bill around. He’s opening up, Beth. He’s changing for the better. For the first time since I met him over three years ago, I heard Tom speak. Sure, it wasn’t exactly nice or welcoming. But it proved he changed, and obviously for the better.”

“I’m glad someone here gave him a chance,” Ms. Layview said and I frowned, I had never known she was worried about me. Ms. Layview was really nice, even if I didn’t like her. She always made sure no matter what happened to be wrong with me it was wrapped up right. “Lacy, you’re doing a great job with him. No one has ever cared this much about him before.”

“I only hope its enough.” Lacy said before I heard her sigh again. I wrinkled my nose, enough? I really shouldn’t ever eavesdrop again. 

 

 

“Holy shit, Tom!” Gustav and Georg’s words and reactions were the exact same when I went down to dinner that night. Ms. Layview finally let me out of the infirmary after cleaning out the long cuts on my face and neck again and rewrapping my arm. Some of those were the worst of all the cuts. They were really deep and kept bleeding whenever Ms. Layview cleaned them out. “What happened to you, Tom? It looks like you got into a fight with a cat,” It was Gustav who asked, Georg was staring at me with a dumbfounded look.

I just ignored the question and took the chair next to Georg, whose face lit up like it was Christmas morning and he was a three year old who just saw all his presents. I was starting to get used to it really, Georg liked me. Big whoop. He had never acted upon it, and if he does, I’ll just punch him in the face to get my point across that he better go back to just being my friend or I’ll kill him.

“They had mint,” Georg told me, sliding an ice cream cup in front of me and smiled a bit, “I figured you’d be in here soon enough, so I grabbed one for you.” He told me and I stared at him for a moment, stealing his spoon from his hand in my way own of saying thank you. Georg had laughed. 

“Bill’s been looking for you all day, Tom.” Gustav said after a moment, giving me a look as though telling me that he  _knew_  it had been Bill who gave me the long and deep cuts. “He told us this morning that you never came back to your room last night and that before lights out you weren’t anywhere to be found. How did you manage to get out of lockdown again?” I ignored him, I had zoned out of whatever he was saying the second he said Bill’s name. I didn’t want to hear his name for as long as I lived. Gustav sighed and shook his head, mumbling something under his breath that I couldn’t hear.

 

 

_Haiku is a poetic form and a type of poetry from the Japanese culture. Haiku combines form, content, and language in a meaningful, yet compact form. Haiku’s are written simply about everyday things. Many themes include nature, feelings, or experiences. Usually they use simple words and grammar._

I hate English more then anything else in the world, I’ve decided it. Right now, I hate it more then I do the two other people in this fucking room with me. I am not a poet, I don’t write because I’m no good at it at all. But I was already near having to go back to the class every Wednesday and Friday for two hours, so if I don’t get at least a decent grade on this, I’m fucked. But this whole Haiku shit makes little sense to me.

_The most common form for Haiku is three short lines written in a five, seven, five format. To be more specific, the first line contains five syllables, the second line seven syllables, and the third line contains five syllables. There is also the three nine three format, but for now we are only going to be working with five, seven, five._

_Haiku doesn't rhyme. A Haiku must "paint" a mental image in the reader's mind. This is the challenge of Haiku - to put the poem's meaning and imagery in the reader's mind in only seventeen syllables over just three lines of poetry._

_You’re assignment is to write five Haiku poems in the five, seven, five format. They can be about absolutely anything that you want, but must paint that mental image. Read through the examples if you need your own mental imagery._

I sighed, blocking out the chatter between the two people I hated more then anyone else, not anything since I hate these Haiku’s more right now. I closed my eyes and took in a small breath before my eyes went down to the paper to read the two examples that it held.

**The Rose  
Donna Brock**

**The red blossom bends  
And drips its dew to the ground.  
Like a tear it falls**

This is probably the most faggoty form of poetry there is to write. I hate it. End of story.

**A Rainbow  
Donna Brock**

**Curving up, then down.  
Meeting blue sky and green earth  
Melding sun and rain.**

Simple… everyday things. What the fuck do you write about when you know perfectly damn well that you can’t write? I sighed, shaking my head and grabbing a sheet of paper, wincing when I heard Alexia laughing at something Bill said to her. I really didn’t care what was said, I just wanted them to be quiet, this was hard enough without them being fucking loud. 

**The cat and the dog  
Were fighting a lot today  
Bad cat, Naughty dog**

Could that even be considered poetry? Ah fuck it, it had the right number of syllables, it would work for me. Cats and dogs were simple everyday things, right? Now… I was out of ideas. Not that I was full of them to begin with.

I looked around the room, trying to find anything that would give me an idea for another stupid poem. When my eyes caught on the window, I saw the water sliding down the glass and figured that that would work. 

**Rain gently falling  
Upon the hungry dry earth  
Lets it live today**

My words really have something to be desired as ‘poetry’, I honestly hate it. Have I mentioned that yet? Ugh, I’m going to fail this assignment just because my poems suck so damn bad.

**I’m stuck in this hell  
I’ll never get out of here  
This hell is my home**

Three down and two to go. Maybe Haiku’s aren’t so bad… I mean. I know I’ve written worse things before. At least these are short and don’t have to rhyme. All I really have to do is count to seventeen in an odd fashion. As long as I count it right, it can’t be too wrong, right?

Bill laughed at something that was said and the sound hit me out of the trance I had put myself in. I blinked a few times, shaking my head to get back into the train of mind I had been in before Bill’s sweet sounding laugh had distracted me. 

**I will not look up  
I do not want to face it  
I’m crazy confused**

…I only wrote that because the syllables fit. Those words had absolutely nothing to do with the boy sitting across the table from me huddled together with that fucking bitch of a girl. It had nothing to do with the diva boy at all. I just didn’t want to be distracted…

**I did not kiss him  
He’s driving me crazy  
I really hate him**

No matter how hard I try, I’m not going to be able to tell myself that this was about anyone or anything but him. Oh fucking hell! Bill Trumper  _really_  needed to get out of my head. He needed to go away. For fucking good.

Despite me telling myself I wasn’t allowed to look up and telling myself I didn’t want to look up, I did. I wish that I didn’t. Bill was looking at me, and when our eyes met- a smile spread wide over his lips. He tilted his head to the side as he looked at me and I couldn’t break my eyes away. Slowly, one of his hands moved up and touched his cheek, the same side that he had left the long gashes on my own. ‘I’m really sorry about that, Tomi.’ He mouthed to me before both of our heads turned away from each other and Bill went back to talking to Alexia.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**|| Bill’s POV ||**  
  
A week had passed since Lexie got here and I had kissed Tom. A week had passed since I heard Tom’s voice and he had kissed me back. A week had passed since Tom ended up in the infirmary from loss of blood and being too cold. A week had passed since Tom even looked at me- even when we’re practicing with Gustav and Georg. A week had passed… since I realized that my plan had backfired. I no longer wanted Tom to just fuck me. I had fallen in love with my asshole of a silent roommate.   
  
I needed to talk to someone, but honestly… I hadn’t a clue who I  _could_  talk too! Lacy was just annoying me lately, trying to pry into places she just didn’t belong in. What happened when I was twelve is only my concern- even if Lexie did know about it too.   
  
And Lexie… I can’t talk to her about this, because that would just fuck me over into oblivion. I’m not stupid, she wants in Tom’s pants as bad as I did. She tried to deny it, but I saw the way she was looking at her dreadlocked ex-best friend. Fucking slut cousin of mine. Andreas just thinks I’m wasting my time and I should continue to stay away from Tom because he’s likely to kill me soon. Georg is too much in love with Tom to ask him for advice… which leaves me with no one. I’ve thought about talking to Gustav, and it’s tempting, but I don’t know where he stands on anything. He’s so secretive sometimes.   
  
“Hello? Earth to Bill?” Lexie broke my thoughts and I was ready to slap her myself this time, until I remembered she hadn’t actually done anything wrong. We were having a conversation before I completely zoned out.   
  
“Sorry Lexie… I was kinda in my own world…” I said to her, closing my eyes and letting my head fall into her lap. She just smiled at me and threaded her fingers into my hair. It was her free hour, this used to be my English hour, but I’m no longer in the class itself. Just do the work for it.  
  
“What are you thinking about, Billie?” She asked me, and I just shrugged. She didn’t need to know. She couldn’t know. She’d probably just make this all worse for me! It’s times like this that make me wish my cousin wasn’t here. “You’re so secretive lately. You’re reminding me of Gustav, and not in a good way.” She said with a frown, and I had to stop myself from jumping up. Maybe Gustav was the person to talk to about this.  
  
“Maybe,” I said softly, pushing myself out of her lap and up off the couch, “Hey Lexie, I’ll see you in a bit… You just reminded me I have to find Gustav and get the new lyrics to him,” I said quickly, Lexie fell easily for the lie as I grabbed my lyric book off the end of the couch and sprinted from the room. I just hoped he could help me.  
  
  
  
“Mmm, it hurts but it’s  _so_  good!” I heard Georg’s words as I walked closer to the homework room and my eyes widened. Especially when I heard a grunt of agreement coming from Gustav. No fucking way! In the homework room!?   
  
“What the hell is going on in here?” I asked peeking my head through the door, not seeing at all what I expected. I had expected to see Gustav and Georg doing the nasty, instead, I saw them both sitting at the table, Gustav’s hands gripping the edge of it and Georg waving his hands in front of his mouth.  
  
What the-?... Both of their eyes shot to me and Gustav grinned despite the pained expression on his face. “That’s it, I give up!” Georg snapped, putting to of his fingers into his mouth and pulling out a red candy ball from between his lips, “Fuck, you win, Gustav.” My confusion only rose.   
  
“Hey Bill,” Gustav said, smirking now as he pulled his own red candy from between his lips with a triumphant look on his face, “Fireball eating contest. And I win.” He explained and I nodded at him. I’ll pretend that made any sense at all. “Pay up, Georg,” he said to the bassist and held his hand to him.  
  
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” Georg grumbled, pulling out a piece of paper and handing it to Gustav who just stowed it away in his book in front of him before looking back up at me.  
  
“What can we help you with?” Gustav asked me and I chewed on my lip a bit. I was hoping to catch Gustav alone; I really didn’t want Georg hearing any of this. My eyes flashed from the drummer to the bassist and back before Gustav got it and smirked, “Georg, you mind leaving for a bit? I think Bill needs to ask me something important.” He said with a smirk and Georg just rolled his eyes before getting up from his chair.  
  
“This isn’t over, Gustav. I’ll beat you next time, I swear.” He hissed, waving to me before he walked out of the room. How Gustav got Georg to listen to him, I will never know.  
  
“So… what did you win?” I asked, sitting in Georg’s now vacant seat and tilting my head to the side. Gustav only burst out laughing before shaking his head and pulling out the paper and handing it to me. Two words were written on it and it only confused me more.  _Georg’s Soul_. “Uhhmm… what?”  
  
“He’s my bitch for the next two weeks.” Gustav explained, taking the paper back from him, “Meaning anything I tell him to do he has to do, because I own his soul. He had mine last week.” I just nodded as tough he was making any sense at all. “Anyways, what did you need?” He asked, putting the red candy back between his lips.  
  
“Gustav… how do you get someone to notice you when they so obviously don’t want to notice you?” I asked him, sucking my lip between my teeth and chewing on it some.  
  
“I take it you’re talking about Tom?” He asked and both of my eyes grew as wide as saucers. “I’m not as oblivious as everyone here seems to think. You’re always watching him when you sing during practice.” I just nodded, no point in denying it when I wanted his help. “Apparently you are oblivious though, Tom does notice you Bill. Especially after you two kissed.”  
  
“Okay, how the fuck do you know that?” I asked, a snap in my voice. Honestly, I didn’t tell him. It would be impossible for him to know that!  
  
“Tom told me,” my jaw dropped. Tom spoke to him? “Okay, not so bluntly. I mean, he certainly didn’t tell me face to face. But, I help Mrs. Zimmerman check assignments, and I happened to read to Tom’s.” That still did help, and I knew my confusion showed on my face, “He had to write Haiku’s for her. And they went from being about animals and rain to being about you. He likes you, Bill. It just confuses him.”  
  
“He likes me…” I whispered, and Gustav nodded at me. I didn’t need to hear anything else. Knowing Tom liked me gave me all the information I needed. I smiled wide at him, jumping up from my chair and giving Gustav a hug before running from the room. I had to find Tom.  
  
  
  
I heard the music before I actually saw Tom. Rescue me… we’d only been practicing that one the last few days and Tom seemed to know it by heart already. “We lied when we were dreaming. Our crying was just fake. I wish you could deny it. Here and today. My SOS on radio. The only chance to let you know. What I fear, Can you hear?” I sang the words as I walked into our room and Tom looked up at me. For half a second, I thought he was going to stop playing.   
  
But he didn’t, he only looked at me as his fingers danced perfectly over the cords. So I kept singing. “Come and rescue me. I'm burning can't you see? Come and rescue me, only you can set me free…” Half of me wonders if he knows this is about him. If he knows that he’s the only person I think about anymore. “Come and rescue me, Rescue me... You and me, you and me, you and me…” I kept walking a little closer to him each time I sang a few words, but he didn’t miss a beat. He just continued to look up at me as I sang the words.  
  
“The walls are coming closer. My senses fade away. I'm haunted by your shadow, I reach to feel your face.” I could see his hands gripping tighter onto his guitar and his notes were a little harder as I sat next to him on the bed. But our eyes were locked, and neither of us wanted to be the one to break them apart from each other. “You're not here... are you here? Come and rescue me.... Rescue me....” His playing was slowing down even though it wasn’t the end of the song. Which worked well, my words were trailing off.  
  
There was no music playing anymore. No words seeping passed my lips as we stared at each other. I reached out and took Tom’s guitar from his lap, placing it carefully on the bed behind me. I saw him gulp back a little. He likes me… he’s just confused. Well, so am I… I’ve never wanted anyone for something then just a lay before. I reached forward and ran a few nails down his cheek where my cuts were just healing. “I’m sorry, Tomi,” I whispered softly. He only reached a hand up and laced his fingers with my own. As though telling me it was okay.   
  
I leaned closer to him… he moved in as well. I wasn’t sure I could breathe anymore. I wrapped my fingers around the back of his neck, but he moved on closer and crashed our lips together. Our kiss this time was slow, no anger fighting behind it. We had no reason to be upset with each other this time. This kiss was because we both wanted it.  
  
I laced my fingers around a few of his dreadlocks and pulled him closer to me as his arms wrapped around my waist to pull me to him. A small moan passed my lips when Tom’s hands squeezed my sides and I moved ever so slightly to straddle his hips. He didn’t push me away; he only pulled me closer.   
  
This is what a kiss is supposed to feel like. Sweet, almost innocent- but not quite. His tongue pressed against my lips and I parted them, allowing him the access that he wanted. I moaned again and rocked my hips against his, earning a noise of pleasure from the dreadlocked teen.   
  
His hands reached up under my shirt, callused fingers dragging against my skin and my back arched, pressing our chests together and I tugged on a few of his dreadlocks.  
  
“What the… what’s going on in here?” We broke apart at the same time when we heard the voice from our doorway.   
  
Tom gulped some and stared, his fingers slipping out from under my shirt. I licked over my lips and looked away from the door, “Oh shit…” I murmured, allowing myself to slide from Tom’s lap.   
  
Well, we’re fucked.


	13. Chapter 13

  
**|| Tom’s POV ||**

“What the… what’s going on in here?”

“Oh shit…” Bill whispered.

I’ve never in, in these last two years, been more relieved to hear that voice then I was just then. Between Bill’s voice and the way he was looking at me, I dunno, it was like he put me in some sort of a trance or some shit like that. As of right now, Georg Listing is my hero. “Oh shit is right, what the fuck are you two doing?” 

“We  _were_  kissing until you had to come and interrupt it.” Bill hissed at him, standing up and straightening out his shirt before sending a death glare to Georg. “Is there something wrong with that?”

“Actually, Bill Trumper, there are quite a few things wrong with it.” Georg hissed and I dropped my head into my hands. Was it possible for me to just disappear right now? I didn’t want to hear a fight between these two. As a matter of fact, that was the very last thing I wanted to hear. “Thing number one, you should be keeping your slut hands off of him.”

“Don’t you dare call me a slu-” Bill start, but Georg cut him off.

“Oh stop trying to act all innocent here, Bill. No one in this place is half as stupid as you tend to think they are.” I looked up; I must be stupid, because I wasn’t exactly sure what Georg was talking about. “If it weren’t already obvious with the way you’ve let Andreas, Alan, Ricky,  _and_  Peter fuck you, we then got your loud mouth cousin here with us who was so happy to give up the goods on you, Bill.” 

I looked at Bill, hoping that he’d put up some sort of a fight at what Georg was saying. It was making my stomach churn knowing I just kissed someone that four other guys I know have already kissed… and done more with. But Bill didn’t deny it; he only got paler each passing second. “Lexie wouldn’t…”

“Oh wouldn’t she?” Georg was being cruel; I knew he was. But I couldn’t bring myself to make him stop talking, even though I knew I could make him stop. I had to know the truth. “Alexia shares rooms with Rachael, Gustav’s best bud, remember?” He smirked as Bill nodded, “Girl’s talk at night, Bill. And Alexia spilled  _everything_. Like how you fucked half the guys in town back home. Or rather, let them fuck you. How you let them pay you for it. You know what they call that Bill, don’t you? Prostitution. You’re no better then a common street slut.”

I was really starting to feel sick, especially by the look on Bill’s face. That look was all I needed to know that what Georg was saying was true. “And to think, that’s not even the worst part.” Not the worst part? What could be worse then that? I wasn’t sure I could stomach anymore of it, but I had to hear it… I had to know. “At first it was just the kids at school, a quick hump in the bathroom and what not. But then they weren’t enough for you. You had to go to the adults. The orgy was one thing Alexia was giggling about. You let how many old smelly men fuck you in one night? Five? Six?”

“Georg, stop… please…” Bill whimpered; tears leaking form his eyes. The make-up that was around them slipped down, leaving long black marks down his face. But I knew Georg too well; he wasn’t done yet. He wouldn’t be done until he told it all. A sick part of Georg’s mind wanted me to hear this. The part of my mind that was confused about Bill needed to hear this. 

“Stop? Why stop, Bill? The story’s only half over.” Georg said, crossing his arms over his chest, “You’re teachers… that’s sick Bill, really sick. History, Math, and what was the other class? Oh, Biology. That’s right. A blowjob here, bend over his desk there, and bada bing bada boom, you have an A in the class. No wonder you need so much help in Math, you never had to learn a thing. You wanna tell Tom what happened to your teachers, or should I?” Bill just sniffled a bit, whipping under his eyes and Georg’s smirk grew wider. “Jail. All three of them, all because of you’re little slut ass. And to think, that’s not even why you’re here.”

Bill put a manicured hand over his mouth to choke back a sob; Georg didn’t seem to care. He only kept talking. Half of me really wanted to make him shut up now, but the part of me that was even more confused then before overpowered it. “Even  _after_  three of your teachers got put in jail, you couldn’t stop whoring around. You were caught fucking at least five other men within that week. That’s why you’re here Bill. You’re addicted to sex. And now you just want to add Tom onto that list of people you’ve fucked? I’m sorry; I can’t let you do that. Tom may be an antisocial prick most of the time, no offense Tom, but he is way too good for you.”

“You only say that because you’re in love with Tom too! I don’t want him to just be a fuck!” Bill snapped at Georg, but he still wasn’t denying anything the bassist said. Why couldn’t he just deny some of it? I didn’t want any of it to be true. The confused part of me didn’t want to just be one of Bill’s fucks.

“Don’t lie, Bill. Once a slut, always a slut. You just want Tom in your tight fucking pants because he’s someone untouchable.” Untouchable? What the hell did that mean? “I won’t lie. I do like Tom, maybe as much to say I’m in love with him. But I’ve accepted the fact that I will never have Tom that way. And I’m cool with just being his friend.” I didn’t know whether or not to believe that. But he hadn’t lied about anything else, so I didn’t think he was lying about that either. “But part of what being his friend is, is to not let people like  _you_  use him.”

Bill was shaking with his tears, why the fuck was he crying? Because Georg outed him on his plan to get me to fuck him? Fuck that shit. I couldn’t be happier or more relived that Georg walked in here when he did. Bill Trumper seriously makes me sick.

 

 

“You know, Tom. As rude and inappropriate your words were, that was still a big step for you.” I rolled my eyes at her, my arms crossed over my chest. She has said that every single time I walked into this room for the last week. Who knew that ‘Fuck You’ was such a big step for anyone? I was trying to get her off my back. That apparently didn’t work. Now she just wanted to hear more. I wasn’t going to give her that. Especially not right now, I was in no mood. 

“So I was thinking, Tom. Why don’t you tell me why you stopped talking to begin with? From your files, it says you just stopped talking halfway through your second grade year. You were seven years old.” She was flipping through a few papers and pulled one out to read from it, I didn’t really care what it said. “Directly from Ms. Tillie,  _‘Tom was a very bright and seemingly happy child. He left on school on Tuesday with a smile and talking up a storm to Jerry and Heather and when he came back to school Wednesday, he wasn’t smiling and he didn’t say a word. At first I thought he was just having an off day- he had a cut on his cheek that I supposed was from falling or something, but it lasted the rest of the week. And come the next Monday and Tom still wouldn’t talk, I got worried. For the rest of the year Tom didn’t say a word to anyone. He blocked himself out from everyone. He still did his work and got excellent grades, but I knew there was something to worry about. I just hadn’t a clue what._ ” 

I remember Ms. Tillie. She was a short lady with, maybe about as tall as us second graders, with short black hair. But she was always nice. She kept me after school a couple of times trying to get me to talk to her and tell her what happened, but I couldn’t tell her. I had sworn to myself I wasn’t ever going to say a word to anyone. It was just easier.

 

 

_“What the fuck is this mess?” The man’s voice was harsh, cold, and so obviously drunk. The small blonde child had learned to fear this voice more when his father had sat down with one of his three best friends- Jim, Jack, or Jose. It was nights like these that Tom refused to think of him as his father. Only Jorg. The replica of his father; only much, much worse._

_Tom looked around at the mess Jorg was referring to and frowned, this wasn’t his mess at all. Two empty bottles of Jack Daniel’s littered the floor along with various other things from Jorg’s drunken afternoon. Dishes and silverware, dirty napkins and candy wrappers. Boxes and wrappers from the snacks that were supposed to be for the seven year olds lunches at school. None of this was his mess. “It’s not mine…” Tom said, peeking up at Jorg, “I’ve been in my room all day.”_

_“I don’t want to hear any of those bull-shit lies from you, Tom,” Jorg hissed, grabbing Tom by the collar of his red and blue Spiderman t-shirt, pulling him so close Tom could almost taste the alcohol from Jorg’s lips. “Now why the_ fuck _did you make this mess in my house?!” He was yelling now; spit falling from his mouth onto the seven year olds face._

_“I didn’t do it!” Tom told him again, trying to pry away from Jorg’s hold on his shirt. He’d been hit before; kicked with steel-toed boots, beat with his fathers’ belt. So much to the point it hurt to walk the next day because of the bruises on his back and legs. But the look in Jorg’s eyes this time scared the living hell out of Tom. He’d never seen this one before. “I swear I didn’t do it, I promise. I was in my room the whole time, D-D-Daddy… Doing my homework. Just like you told me to.”_

_“What did I just tell you about lying to me, Tom Kaulitz?” Jorg bellowed at the younger boy. Tom just whimpered and turned his head away. He knew he wasn’t lying. He had been in his room since he got home from school and saw Jorg sitting in his chair with the bottle of booze in his hand. So why wouldn’t Jorg believe him? Tom had never had a reason to lie to him. He was too scared to lie to him._

_“I’m not lying,” Tom whimpered, tears starting to form in chocolate brown eyes that held fear in them. Jorg’s hand that wasn’t holding onto his shirt raised and came down hard against his face. He could feel the ring his father wore cut into the skin and blood slip down his cheek. “I swear, daddy…” Tom was crying now._

_He pushed Tom away from him, “Get your ass to your room. I’ll be in there soon, so it better be clean, boy.” He demanded, pointing up the stairs and Tom didn’t dare disobey him as he ran up the stairs to his room. Tom always kept his room clean, so he wasn’t worried about that._

_When Jorg came back upstairs, Tom had never been more terrified of anything else in his entire life. Jorg had forced Tom onto the bed forced his hands on the small blonde child’s body. “I don’t want to hear a word from you, Tom. It’ll be so much worse if I even hear a peep from you.” He hissed to the little kid._

_He had no control of his body, he was shaking without meaning to, and he couldn’t pull away from his father touching him. He wanted to beg him not to, but Jorg had just told him not to say word. Jorg was going to do as he pleased. Tom was what he pleased right now. His very small body, he was only just seven years old. Jorg broke him and turned him into what he was now. He took off all of the small child’s clothes, touched him in places he was scared to be touched in. Took his small shaking hand, he made Tom touch him. He moaned loudly from Tom’s child touch, he was hard already._

_There was no god; Tom knew that now. God wouldn’t let this happen to anyone. Jorg laid Tom’s shaking, naked body down on the bed, kissed up from his private areas to his belly to his chest. “So innocent.” He had whispered, pushing his legs apart, Tom was still shaking, but he was no longer crying. He couldn’t cry anymore just then, everything was so fogged; he didn’t want this to be happening. He was trying to block it all out._

_Swirls moved in front of his face eyes as he tried to ignore the man who was becoming his worst enemy in such a short amount of time. The man who was supposed to protect him from things like this happening to him. He was drunk- Tom knew he was. But that shouldn’t excuse Jorg for doing this to him. At that point, Tom just felt like he was dying a strange death. He wished it were that. He wished Jorg had killed him instead of doing this._

_One minute Jorg’s heavy mouth was biting down onto his neck for reasons unknown to the small child and the next; he pushed inside of his son. Tom never screamed so loud in his life then he did just then. It hurt more then anything else in the world. More then his fathers hits. More then kicks or the whips with the belt. It was the last time he ever screamed. The last time he ever cried. The last time Tom ever allowed himself to make a sound._

_It was like Jorg was having a seizure on top of him, his body moving in and out of his own, moaning and grunting, a look of disgusting pleasure on his face. Tom couldn’t look at him; his head fell to the side, as he silently sobbed- he’d allow himself these last few tears and that would be it. Jorg took his face in his strong hand, forcing his son to look at him as he pushed harder inside of the small body beneath, but Tom wouldn’t scream again. Wouldn’t beg for him to stop in useless effort. Wouldn’t make another sound. Jorg kissed him then, as though to shut up the already silent child, biting down on his lip. He could taste his own tears and blood when Jorg kissed him._

_The small child heard him grunt one more time before he came inside of the bruised and broken body, his thrusts stopping and Tom hurt all over._

 

 

I don’t know what Lacy saw in me that gave her that worried look. But she was giving me a really strange look. Like she was scared of the look on my face. “Tom? Are you okay?” She asked. I couldn’t even look at her.

Honestly, I wasn’t okay. I felt sick to my stomach, like I did the night  _that_  happened. It was the first time Jorg ever did that to me. He did that once a week for the next six months until he died of alcohol poisoning. But that was the worst time. The only time I had cried or screamed. It was the last time I had made a noise other then the two words I said to Lacy. 

Lacy told me I could go. I couldn’t have been more grateful to get away from her; away from that room. I ran to the bathroom as fast as I could, upchucking my lunch into one of the toilets. I hadn’t thought of Jorg in so long for a reason. I didn’t want to remember him. I flushed the bile down the drain and forced myself back up. 

I was shaking and I knew it. I just wanted to get back to my room and fall into my bed. Much to my dismay, I couldn’t even make it to the door before I collapsed next to the wall, burying my face in my knees. I told myself I wasn’t allowed to cry ever again since that day. But in that room with Lacy, I could honestly more than just see it. I could feel it happening all over again.

But now… I cried, tears leaking from my eyes and wetting my pants. I wanted to die all over again. I never wanted to remember that. Ever.

 


	14. Chapter 14

**|| Bill’s POV ||**  
  
I didn’t want to be around anyone after what happened with Georg and Tom. I hated Lexie for opening her big mouth, I hated Georg for opening his even bigger mouth, but mostly- I hated myself for it all being true. I went straight to the nurse, telling her I didn’t feel well simply so I could get out of my classes for the day. One look at my distressed face, she let me stay in there for the night. I still felt like crap when I woke up the next morning, I didn’t want to face anyone yet. Ms. Layview told me to go rest in my room for now and I would be excused from all activities for the day. When I got back to my room, Tom was already gone. I thanked god for that.   
  
I couldn’t sleep; I just tossed and turned under my covers. It got boring after a while of that. I looked at the clock and quickly went through everyone’s schedules in my head- no one should be in the bathroom right now, and a shower sounded really good right now. But when I went into the bathroom- I never expected to see what I did. I won’t lie; it was probably one of the scariest sights I had ever seen in my life- one of them.  
  
The bathroom wasn’t empty, close to it, but not quite. One other person was in there, and I had to do a double take when I saw him. I honestly never thought I’d see Tom like that. He was curled to himself against the wall, face buried in his knees and quietly crying into them. Tom Kaulitz, the boy who didn’t even flinch when my nails clawed into his skin like a mad cat, was crying when it looked like there was nothing physically wrong with him.   
  
My first instinct was to leave; he didn’t notice I was in there. I was still hella scared to be near him, but seeing him look so vulnerable… it broke my heart. “Tomi?” I said softly, taking a few steps towards him- he looked up the instant I said his name; his eyes were red and puffy from crying, so he must have been there for a while now. To my surprise, he didn’t try to hide the fact he was crying; he just stared up at me with hurt, frightened brown eyes. “Oh god, Tom…” I said even softer then before, my heart breaking all over again seeing how hurt he was. I quickly went over to him, wrapping my arms around him.  
  
To my even greater surprise, Tom didn’t pull away from me. He didn’t push me away. He didn’t become as still as a statue. Instead, Tom buried his face in my shoulder and just cried and his hands wrapped into fists around the hem of my t-shirt. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do really, I had never seen him like this- not anything close to this. He was honest to god scared and hurt right now, and I hadn’t even a clue why. All I knew is that after eight years of his silent and static state, he was breaking down.  
  
My hands rubbed soft circles on his back and I rested my head against his. Just whispering soft things to him. Telling him it was okay to cry, that everything was going to be okay. I knew we couldn’t stay in the bathroom much longer before someone else walked in, and I doubted Tom was going to want anyone else see him break down like this. I highly doubt he’d ever broken down like this before. “Tomi,” I said softly, my lips close to his ear as I held his still shaking body, “Come on, we should get back to our room before anyone else comes in here.”  
  
Tom nodded and finally pulled away from me, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand as he stood up from the ground. He held one of his hands out to me and I took it so he could help me up. I held my arms around him as we walked back to our room, it was a miracle no one saw us. But I knew once we were in the safety of our room, no one was going to look for us. Tom was out of classes for the day and I wasn’t expected in any today. I let him go when we got in there and walked towards my bed, Tom instantly followed me, sitting next to me and laying his head on my chest once more.  
  
I wished he would talk to me, I wish he would let me know what happened to make him break down like this. My poor Tomi… I was worried about him. Incredibly so. The light in the single window of our room started to diminish to later it was getting and soon Tom and I were covered in darkness just curled to each other on my bed. Somehow in the last few hours, we had slid from sitting up to lying down, Tom’s head not getting off my chest. I was getting tired; I didn’t know how late it was. I almost thought I was dreaming when I heard him speak. “Why did you do it, Bill?”  
  
I turned my head to look at him, making sure I wasn’t going crazy and he had really asked me something. His eyes were on me with a questioning look in the deep brown orbs. “Why did I do what, Tom?” I asked him, confused at what he was asking me.  
  
He moved a bit, resting either hand on a side of my head and staring down into my eyes. “Sleep around like Georg said you did? You didn’t deny it, so I know it’s true. Why  _did_  you do it?”  
  
For a few moments I just stared back at him in fear and rather shocked- I didn’t know how to answer that. The shock was because mainly because Tom was talking to me. It had been different then when he was asleep, it felt different. Tom was directing the words towards me, and that in itself was a miracle; a very scary miracle. The even scarier part, it made me want to tell him everything, to give him every little detail that no one knows. Well, Lexie knows parts of it. But I didn’t tell her all of it. The fear though, that was because I was afraid of what he thought of me. I didn’t want Tom to hate me. Not when I like him so much.  
  
Why had I done it? I don’t know how I could answer him without Tom thinking I was a slut. Hell, he probably already thinks that now. Because in all reality, it’s true. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves some, but it really didn’t help at all. I was scared. No use even trying to deny it. “Because… I don’t know, Tom. They… they made me feel good.” I said sheepishly, trying to think of some answer that didn’t exactly tell the truth. I didn’t exactly know why, but I do know what started it. And I can’t tell Tom that.  
  
Tom’s facial expression didn’t change; he just continued to look down on me like he was waiting for more. The look in his eyes… it broke me down, and I spilled everything. “I was twelve,” I started, moving from under him and sitting up, he sat up and watched me like it was story time. Not a nice one either. “My mom was going on a business trip so I was staying with her brother, Gordon. My uncle… Lexie’s adopted father.” I knew I was adding things he didn’t care about, but it was wasting time, so it was a good thing to me. “Lexie and I were close, we were hanging out in her room, and Uncle Gordon said it was time to come downstairs.  
  
“I didn’t know he had been drinking that night, he doesn’t normally drink. I didn’t listen at first, I wanted to stay up and talk more with Lexie. But he got mad and told me to come down there. When I did, he pushed me into the guest game room thing- my room for the night. I got spanked… and then he…” I took a deep breath and looked away, “He… well, had sex with me. I didn’t want it.” I couldn’t bring myself to say the word ‘rape.’   
  
“After that, I just changed. I was real closed off for a while and really quite sometimes. Then something snapped. A boy at school liked me, and he paid me for sex. And it went on from there. The money and saying I wanted it made me forget what my uncle did. Teachers gave me grades for not doing anything. Men pay a lot of money to kids.” I gulped back some and looked at him again, “I know it sounds gross, Tom. But its what I did to help myself. I never told anyone that before.”  
  
He looked at me for more, so I told him more. My mind kept telling me to shut up, but my heart told me to tell him. Tom wanted to know. Needless to say, my heart beat out my mind and Tom got details, from which teachers they were to when I got caught and sent here.   
  
To say the least… I felt like moron. A slutty idiotic fifteen year old. I closed my eyes and laid my head back against the wall and waited for Tom to move off of my bed and away from me. Waited for him to him to never look, touch or say anything to me again. Tom Kaulitz, well, I can tell you… that Tom is a very surprising person.  
  
Instead of him pulling away, or never coming near me again, he just moved closer to me. He tilted my chin to face him and he pressed a soft kiss to my lips. Tears were stinging in my eyes now and Tom laid down on my bed, pulling me into his arms. He was holding me now, not saying anything, hardly breathing. He was helping me feel better and I still don’t know why he had felt so bad in the beginning.   
  
I feel asleep in his arms that night. And I couldn’t have been happier about it. Tom would tell me in time what happened to him, I was sure of it. For now, I was just going to enjoy the closeness with Tom. The feeling of him holding me. The knowledge that I got to hold him. I got to make him feel better. He talked to me. He kissed me. He didn’t hate me.   
  
Tom is something real this time. I’m sure of it.


	15. Chapter 15

  
**|| Tom’s POV ||**

A month ago today I was woken up by wiggling faerie in my arms. I didn’t want to move, after he kissed me a few times- I couldn’t even try to sleep anymore. Three weeks ago, I kissed Bill in front of Gustav, not on purpose, the drummer happened to walk into our room looking for us because we were late for free period, which Bill decided to rename solely to ‘Band Practice’. The day after that, Bill kissed me in front of Alexia after he got all jealous of her flirting with me. Bill and Alexia haven’t spoken since then, sad considering how close Bill told me they used to be. Two weeks ago, Georg caught onto us- he’s been more of a diva than Bill since then. He’s really starting to annoy me. A week ago I realized I liked Bill; I really liked him. Yesterday I told him. I haven’t seen him once since we woke up today since his mother was here for an all day visit. I told him if he told her anything about me, I’d kill him. The only people who know anything about us are The G’s and Alexia, and they’ve all promised not to tell anyone. 

And now, I’m sitting in the group room waiting for Lacy. It was odd for her to be late. “Good news, Tom.” She said, smiling at me when she finally walked into the room and I turned my head to look at her. Good news from Lacy was never good news at all. “In a week from today, you’re going to have your own room again.” My eyes widened at her. My own room? I didn’t want my own room! I wanted to keep sharing my room with Bill. I swear to god, if she puts him with anyone else I’m going to flip out at her. “Bill’s had a lot of progress this last month and his mother agrees. So next week, Bill is going home. I stopped breathing. How could Bill leave me like that?

_“Hey Tomi… not that I don’t really, really like it or anything, because I do! But… why do you only talk in front of and to me? I mean, everyone thought you just couldn’t talk or something… but I know you can.” Bill said to the dreadlocked boy only week before. If someone else was around the two of them, Tom didn’t even make a peep. But when the two boys were alone, Tom didn’t hesitate to talk to him like he had done in the beginning. He was starting to trust Bill._

_So he told him that. “I don’t trust people, Bill. No matter how long I know them, I can’t trust them. Even after I’ve known Georg for over a year. I still can’t trust him. See what he did to you? He can’t be trusted. But you’re not Georg, you’re not Lacy; you’re not anyone else. You’re… Bill. The kid I couldn’t stand when he got here because he was so different from everyone else. I trust you for some reason… and it’s hard. And it scares the hell out of me. But I’ve come to terms with it by now.”_

_Bill smiled at him, wrapping his arms around Tom’s shoulders before crawling into his lap and resting his forehead against the other teens. “I’m glad that you trust me.” He said softly, tell me, Tomi… why don’t you trust people? What happened?”_

_The dreadlocked teen turned his head away. He had been shying away from the subject for weeks. Whenever Bill asked, Tom would just say he didn’t want to talk about it and walk away from him. And now seemed to be no different. “Tom, come on… you said that you trust me. Why can’t you trust me with whatever happened to you?” He asked, his smiling fading as he looked down at the other._

_“I just. I can’t talk about it, Bill, okay?” He said, his voice shaking a little, he didn’t want to talk about it. He simply couldn’t do it. But Bill wasn’t going to drop it this time, and the constant silent stare on him was evidence of that. Tom sighed and looked up at him. “Because people hurt, Bill. They leave me, and they hurt me, and I just don’t want to go through anything like that again.”_

_“Tell me, Tomi.”_

_Staring at Bill… it gave him what he needed to give in and tell him. “When I was two years old the last time my dad ever hugged me and the first time he ever hit me. I mean, it wasn’t bad for a while. My mom protected me. But two years after that she died. I don’t know how, and I don’t want to know how. I just know that she did. My dad screamed. For three years I was the object of my dad’s anger. It was my fault she had died. When I was seven, my dad stopped hitting me and stopped blaming me. I had stopped talking and my dad… starting doing other things to me.” Just by looking at Bill, Tom knew he understood what he was saying. “He died when I was eight. Drank himself to death. I may not have liked him all the time. But he was still my dad. And he left me. Just like my mom did.”_

_He took in a small breath before he even dared to continue, it was harder then he thought to ever admit any of this out loud. “Alexia was the first person I had ever started trusting again. But she left me too. How can you trust people when all they ever do is leave you?”_

_Bill leaned in and pressed his lips softly against Tom’s, hugging him tightly and putting his lips close to the dreaded boy’s ear, “I promise you, Tomi. I’m never going to leave you like everyone else did.”_

He lied to me. After everything, Bill Trumper lied to me. He promised he wasn’t going to leave me. He promised I could trust him. This just proves it; no one can be trusted. Ever.

 

 

I didn’t even let him get a word in when he walked into our room and I pushed him roughly against the wall. Anger radiating off of me and glaring daggers into his eyes, “How the  _fuck_  could you do this, Bill? You promised me!”

He didn’t need me to tell him what I was talking about; I knew he wasn’t stupid. He knew what I was upset about. “Tom, I swear! I didn’t mean too… my mom only just told me.” He said; his voice shaking and eyes shining with un-shed tears. He better not cry. He had nothing to cry about. 

“You promised you would never leave me. What, not even two weeks later you’re going? Fuck that, Bill! I was right from that start. You are different from everyone else. You’re worse then them all.” I said, pushing him in the shoulders and turning away from him. 

“Tom, I’m sorry. But I’ll come back to see you!” Bill said loudly, his voice shaking with fear. What he was scared of, I didn’t know, nor did I even care. I didn’t want his crap apologies. I didn’t want to hear his lies. “I don’t live far from here, Tomi. I can still come see you and I will, nothing could keep me from that.” Fat chance there. He wasn’t going to come back. No one ever does. 

I spun on my heel to look at him once last time, “I don’t want to hear it, Bill. I don’t want to hear you say anything. I don’t care. I never will again, just go away, leave me alone. Okay? I’m done with liars. I’m done with everyone! Especially you. I… I hate you, Bill.” I hissed, glaring daggers into his skin before I turned away for the last time. “You’re a fucking asshole, Bill.”

I could feel his eyes on me; I knew he was probably tearing up. I didn’t care. I wouldn’t let myself care. Bill Trumper meant nothing to me anymore. He never should have from the start. “Tomi, please… I swear I didn’t-” 

“Bill,” I shook my head as I cut him off, “Fuck you.” I hissed. It would be the last words I say to him. The last words I say to anyone. I’m done trusting people. I was right from the start, no one can ever be trusted. If they’re different, they’re only going to hurt you more. I hate him, more then I did in the beginning. 

 

 

The day that Bill left, I realized quite a few things. The first being that I really don’t need anyone else. I’m just fine on my own and don’t want, nor need, anyone else in this world. The second being that it’s true that no one really pays any attention to the silent ones. The third being that with Bill gone, Georg was happier and trying to talk to me again. The forth being that getting out of this place was a lot easier then I thought it would be. The last… the last being that I missed him when he left this place.

But I wasn’t going to let myself think of that last part. He betrayed me, lied to me, broke his promise, and I didn’t need him. Did I want him here with me? Yes, yes I did. But that because Bill has mind tentacles, he slips them into your head and latches onto you like a squid would its prey. That’s all I was to Bill. His prey. I just have to find a way to burn the tentacles off of me. 

I’ll figure out how to do that later, because right now, it’s not important. Bill’s not around me, and I’m not around him. In fact, I’m not around anyone. You see; I was serious when I said they pay no attention to the silent ones. I thought that it would be harder to do, but it wasn’t. I didn’t have any classes to go to or anything. I walked into the music room and took my guitar from the case- I wasn’t going to leave without it- I didn’t bother taking any of my clothes. My guitar was enough for me. 

_“You okay, Tom? You’re acting rather funny…”_

Georg had said that to me only a few hours ago. I knew I was acting stranger then usual, but that’s because I was leaving today and no one knew it. I’d been planning it for a week. So… I did it. It was perfect, a flawless plan, especially if I don’t get caught. With my guitar strapped over my shoulder, I checked to make sure Kelsey wasn’t at the front desk. She rarely left it, and it was always just for five minutes or so. She was right on time to be away from the desk, five o’clock. No one was around at all. I walked out of the building. I walked out on everyone there. This life I’ve known for the last five years. It’s scary being outside, I mean  _really_  outside. 

Outside but on the grounds is one thing, but outside and free… it’s another altogether. There’s a difference about it. Even if in all actuality, I wasn’t allowed to leave, I still felt free. I felt safer out here then in there. Out here there was no one going to try and make me talk. No one going to try and bring up painful memories; no one to do anything. 

I had aimlessly walked around for over an hour before I decided where I wanted to go. I knew the place held nothing for me anymore, but I wanted to go home. I wanted to at least see it. Only problem was, I had no idea where to go. Maybe I didn’t think this all the way through. Not only did I not know exactly where home was from here… I wasn’t even sure where  _here_  was. I had been walking around without paying attention. So even if I wanted to go back somewhere I knew was… well, safe I guess, I couldn’t have. But still, I wasn’t scared. 

I had myself. I had my guitar. That was all I needed. I’d find my way around… right?

Okay, so maybe I didn’t think this through as well as I thought I did. I had only thought about as far as how to get out and when. I never once thought of what I was going to afterwards. 

Well, shit. I’m fucked.

 


	16. Chapter 16

**|| Bill’s POV ||**  
  
Abigail and Sonnie Wilhelmina have been two of my best friends ever since before I can remember. They’re twins, and completely strange. I’m not just over emphasizing either, they really are. We used to be a lot closer then we are now, but that really can’t be helped. We met when we were in Kindergarten together. The twins and had very tight clique with each other, and none of the other kids could break into it. But for some reason, they liked the little blonde boy who wanted to play Barbie’s with them. We started to drift apart a little bit after Alexia came into my life- they absolutely hated my cousin and still do, and especially when we all got out of Grundschlue. You see, the twins and I had a pretty bad reputation when we went to school together. The Terrible Trio, that’s what we were known as. And in all reality, it’s the girls’ fault! They were the troublemakers in Grundschlue, not me. I was just best friends with them, so I got in trouble for whatever they did.   
  
We got accepted into different schools, basically. And since the twins never even gave two shits about whether or not they were going to go to college, they didn’t try to get into Gymnasium with Alexia and I. So while Lexie and I went off to Gymnasium, the twins went to Realschule. Thus ended the saga of The Terrible Trio. The girls never did straighten up their act of pulling pranks and causing complete havoc on the schools and streets, but I was causing havoc in my own way. Sure, they knew about it. But they never tried to stop me. In fact, they found it funny as all hell. I remember telling them the first time I ever slept with a teacher; my math teacher- Mr. Ackerman, they bowed to me. Honest to blog,  _bowed_  to me. Abbie told me she was in shock I had the balls to do it. Sonnie said I gave her an idea for something else- I told them I wanted nothing to do with it.   
  
When Lexie wasn’t around, I still spent time with the twins. But they refused to be around me when I was around her. Which I suppose was well; because Lexie was the same way- she thought the twins were a bad influence on me. And who knows, maybe they were. But they never got called crazy and sent to a mental hospital.   
  
Even though it was well known that both of the girls probably should be. At least, it was well known to me. I think that in another life the twins were responsible for the sinking of Atlantis, the death of all the dinosaurs, the ice age, the ending of the ice-age, world war one, world war two, and any other bad thing you can think of. They’re just too good at hiding all their bad deeds. I remember hearing once about how the science lab in their school caught fire. No one ever found out how, or who did it. But when I saw the twins later that day, they were grinning evilly. Those two needed to be locked up.   
  
I called them first thing when I got out; I wanted to see them again. Since my mom had a very bad opinion on them, she didn’t allow them to come see me at Willow Springs. Mom thought that they had gotten me into the start of my sexoholic-ness, I found that laughable. The twins were both virgins. Sonnie decided she was never going to have sex. Abbie decided that she was going to wait until she found someone she truly loved.  
  
Pussies. But I still loved them with all I had. And I know they loved me. That’s why I had called them when I got out of the hospital. That’s how I ended up in the backseat of their car right now on my way  _back_  to the hospital. My mom wouldn’t take me back, Sonnie and Abbie happily agreed to it. Well, kinda happily. “Bill, I swear to fucking god that if you’re really dragging us all the way out here to see fucking Alexia-slut, then we’re going to murder you with our bare hands.” Sonnie warned me, looking over the seat and giving me a steady glare while Abbie drove.  
  
“I agree with her one hundred percent, Billa.” Abbie said, oh big surprise there. The twins agree on something. “We knew it was only a matter of time that she was going to end up here. I mean sure, we knew you’d be in here too- we’re actually surprised we haven’t been dubbed crazy yet, but we knew she wouldn’t be out yet. And if you got our asses out of bed on a fucking  _Saturday_ to come see you shitty fake cousin, we’ll kill you. Simple as that.”  
  
“Trust me, guys. It’s not to see Lexie. Actually, Lexie and I aren’t on speaking terms at the moment.” I told them, I could have laughed at how their faces lit up in identical grins and they had a silent conversation just by looking at each other. “We’re coming to see the boy who helped me get out of there.” I said softly, looking out the window. Sonnie instantly spun around in her seat demanding details, and I was sure had Abbie not been driving, she would have been doing the same thing. “His name is Tom. But I can’t tell you guys more then that. Other then the fact that I’m in love with him.”  
  
Sonnie blanched at the same time as Abbie let out a loud, “Awwwwe!” So they weren’t the same on exactly  _everything_. “Bill! That’s so sweet! Now I bet you wished you waited to save yourself for him, don’t ya? See why I’m waiting now? But that doesn’t matter. How was he? Is he a good lay? Are we breaking him out? Oh! Sonnie! Something new and exciting for us!”  
  
“Oooh! Can we, Bill? Break him out, I mean.” Sonnie gave me a pleading look. I was glad they had forgotten about asking me whether I had screwed him or not. I doubt they would have believed me anyways. “It could be some of that fluffy romantic shit that Abbie always reads; except way cooler, because we’re in it. Abbs, we’ve never broken someone out of something before! Think we can do it?”  
  
“We can do  _anything_. We’re amazing. That must be why Bill asked us to take him. He wanted to break Tom out and knew that we’re the only ones who could do it.” I stopped listening to them and looked back out the window. We were almost there and I was getting excited to finally see my Tomi again. I was hearing bits and pieces of their conversation, which somehow they were talking about Abbie punching out all of the guards while Sonnie took out everyone else with a sawed off shotgun. Sad thing is, I didn’t put it past them to have one of those in this car right now. “Bill, we’re here. So are we gonna do it?”  
  
Abbie saying my name broke me out of my trance and I looked at them and shook my head, “Not this time.” They pouted over-dramatically, “I should clear it with Tom first.” They both perked up and I laughed.   
  
“Yo, Billa. Are there usually coppers here? And are so many kids always outside? That seems kinda funny to me for a mental hospital. I mean, I thought maybe a few guards. But police? Seriously? Abbie, I’m not so sure about this breakout thing anymore.”  
  
“I dunno either,” Abbie said, wrinkling her nose as she looked at the cop cars, “I mean, yeah, still totally worth it. But we’ll have to re-think the shotgun. We can’t let anyone know we have that. Maybe pepper spray to start out with?” Abbie offered and Sonnie nodded.  
  
I was pretty much ignoring the revamping of their plans as I looked out the windows with wide eyes. Everyone was outside behind the gates. I mean,  _everyone_. To add on top of that, there were two cop cars parked in front of the building. No, that wasn’t normal in the least bit. “You guys… stay in here for minute…” I told them, slipping out of the car and looking at the gates, almost instantly spotting one of the people I was looking for. Georg and Gustav were against it. Georg with his back to it and sitting on the ground, Gustav waving me over to him.   
  
I frowned and quickly jogged over to him, linking my hands into the wires like he had done on the other side and I looked at him confusedly. “Gustav, what’s going on?” I asked him, a worried expression over my face. Had someone offed themselves or something? Had… had Tom? I didn’t see him anywhere.   
  
“Breakout,” Gustav said with an almost longing sound in his voice. “First one ever, and no one knows how he did it.” I blinked a few times and Gustav answered my unasked question, “Tom. Sometime yesterday after his group with Lacy, he just… left. Poof! Disappeared. We know he didn’t hurt himself rather then leave because his Guitar is gone too. Georg said he had been acting off all day, but no one expected that! The police are looking around the building right now just to see if he’s hiding. But everyone here knows that he’s not pussy enough to hide. Tom’s gone.”  
  
I paled an awful lot and my knuckles were white from how tightly I was holding onto the metal wires under my hands. “He’s gone and no one knows where he went?” I croaked out and Gustav nodded at me, “Gustav! He could be anywhere!” I screeched, my voice two octaves higher then usual. I saw a few of the others look at me, but I didn’t pay any attention to him, “Oh god, this is my fault,” I squealed, tears forming in my eyes. “I have to go find him!”  
  
“Where are you even going to start, Bill? He’s got at least twenty-four hours on everyone. Just leave it up to the piggies. That’s their job; they’ll find Tom somewhere. Besides, you’d never be able to find him on your own. No one is that good.” Gustav told me with a nod, “No one here is too worried. Tom’s a tough kid; we all know that. He’s going to be fine.”  
  
“Gustav, he hasn’t been outside these walls in  _five_  years! What if he’s lost? What if he’s hurt?” I was whimpering, nearly crying at this point. “Gustav, I have to know where he is. I have to find him.” I told him, shaking my head. “I love him, Gusti…”  
  
Gustav frowned a little and nodded with a sigh, “Man… that sucks. Tom’s not an easy person to love.” I saw Georg shoot him a glare, but I ignored him and so did the drummer. “I still don’t think you should waste your time with looking for him, since he could be anywhere. But… if you’re really gonna do it, I wish you luck. And hey, come back here and at least let me know if you find him? He was my friend. I’m not going to lie; I am worried about him a tad bit. Especially since you just reminded me of that whole five years thing. But I still say you can’t do it alone. No one is that good, Bill Trumper. Even if they are in love.”  
  
I nodded, not even saying anything before I ran back to the car where the twins were waiting for me to return and tell them. “Bill!” I heard someone call and I skidded to a stop and spun on my heel as I saw Lacy running towards me and I whimpered again, stomping my foot impatiently. What did she want? Didn’t she realize she was wasting time I could be using to find Tom?! “Bill, I’m glad I caught you. I just got off the phone with your mom and she said you had left to come here a little while ago.” I nodded, tapping my foot impatiently, waiting for her to get on with whatever she had to say, “I suppose you already heard what happened judging by the look on your face?” I nodded again, getting frustrated with her. “So you had no idea Tom was going to try this?”  
  
“First of all, he obviously didn’t just try it, he succeeded! And you dunderheads let him out and now he’s in danger!” I said, not caring if I was being rude or not. She wasn’t my boss anymore; I could be rude to her. I was already free and I had very pissy twin girls in the car waiting for me. “Number two, No, I didn’t he was going to do this or else I wouldn’t be here coming to  _see_ him. I’d be with him! Fucking hell, woman.” I said, tugging on strands of my long hair, “And ‘C’. Before you even ask, I have no idea where he is.” I said, my voice turning pouting and whimpering, “Lacy, I have to go. My friends are waiting for me in the car and… and I… I want to go home.” I told her, tears stinging in the corners of my eyes.   
  
“You really care about Tom, don’t you, Bill?” She asked, and I nodded, wiping at my tears with the back of my hand, not caring that my make-up was smearing. “Go home, Bill. I let you know when we find him. Whatever you do, leave this up to the police. They’ll find him, honey. Don’t worry, okay?” I nodded again, turning quickly again and running the last few feet to the car and jumping in the backseat.  
  
Sonnie and Abbie both instantly turned around in their seats and looked at me expectantly, when I said nothing, Sonnie looked worried. She gave Abbie a nod who started the car and Sonnie jumped in the back with me, wrapping her arms around me and I buried my head into her chest and cried. She shushed me, rubbing my back and telling me everything was going to be okay, even if she didn’t know what was going on. Even if she didn’t know, she was making me feel better. Especially at her last words, “Abbie and I will do anything to make it all better. Okay, Billa? Just stop crying.”  
  
I looked up at her and she wiped her thumbs under my eyes to rid of my last fallen tears. “Anything?” I asked, and she nodded at me. I grinned at her and Sonnie’s eyes widened in excitement. “Okay,” I said, taking a deep breath to calm myself down. Gustav was right; I couldn’t do this alone. But if I had had two of the best master-criminal minds on my sides, I might have much more of a chance. Who better to catch a fucked up teenager then two even more fucked up teenagers? “The break out has to be canceled, as the boy we would be breaking out has already done so.”  
  
Sonnie pouted and crossed her arms over her chest, “And how exactly has he managed to do that?” She huffed, leaning her back against the door, ignoring the fast pace that her sister was driving. We were all used to it by now. Abbie has been driving since we were twelve and sneaking out with their moms’ car. I told you they were crazy. Best part, her mom never knew. Something tells me that their mom really didn’t care either way.  
  
I just shrugged in response to her question. “I don’t know how he did it. No one does. But here’s going to be the more fun part. We have to find him.” Sonnie gave me a look that I read easily.  _Why on earth would we want to find him?_  “Because, Sonnie. We’re going to find someone who doesn’t want to be found. How grand does that sound? He’s going to be hiding from absolutely everyone, because he won’t want to be sent back there.”  
  
“No thanks, helping someone by finding them doesn’t sound like much fun.” Sonnie said, sighing and crawling back over the seat to sit next to her sister, “Breaking someone out, I mean yeah; lots of fun. But finding them? No. What do you think, Abbs?”  
  
“I think it sounds like a pussy mission.” Abbie said with a shrug of her shoulder, “In all reality, Bill. Sonnie is right. What would be the fun of finding someone?”  
  
I leaned back in my seat and just shrugged one of my shoulders. There is only one thing better then being the criminal mastermind. And that’s being able to manipulate the criminal masterminds. “I dunno. But I doubt you guys could do it anyways. I mean, Gustav was right. It should just be left up to the cops. They’ll be looking anyways. So I guess there really is no point in it. I guess you guys just aren’t as good as the cops.”  
  
I saw the way they both tensed up in their seats and looked at one another when Abbie stopped at a red light. Abbie sighed and slumped her shoulders after a moment and Sonnie wrinkled her nose in distaste. “Fucking dick,” the lighter haired girl hissed at me, “You  _know_  we’re better then them.” She snapped at me, flipping her hair over shoulder, “Fine, we’ll do it, but not for you. Just so we can once again prove that we’re amazing.”  
  
“And can do absolutely anything we say we’re going to do.” Abbie finished for her sister. I grinned and clapped my hands excitedly. “We need to know everything you know about this kid though. The first thing you do about finding someone…”  
  
“…Is knowing them inside and out. Now, we know we won’t be able to get that in-depth into him. But you have to tell us what you know, Bill. Or else this kid’s not going to be found.” Sonnie finished.  
  
And thus story time began. We drove around for the next two hours while I told them everything I knew about Tom. By the time I was done, the girls were  _sure_  they knew where he was going to be. “Abbie, pull into the police station. Bill, come inside with me. There is one crucial thing we need to find out.”  
  
“And we’re going to get it from cops? Sonnie, have you lost your mind?” I asked her, frowning as we started to get out of the car once Abbie parked.  
  
Sonnie grinned at me and nodded, “It’s been suggested, now come with me. I’m going to need you if there’s a girl or a gay man behind the desk.” She said, tugging on my hand and dragging me into the station. To my relief, it was a guy, as straight as they come asking if he could help us. Sonnie flashed him a flirting smile, tucking the red streaks in the dyed blonde hair behind her ears. “I think you can,” She said, her tone just as flirtatious as her smile was. Thank god this guy was young, or else this would be really gross to watch. “My friend and I are doing a report for our school paper, you see, my dream is to be a famous journalist. And our assignment is to find an old article and rewrite it using the facts. But I can’t find the  _real_  facts anywhere.” She bit at her lip and tugged her hair between her fingers, “I was hoping maybe you’d be able to help me?”  
  
“Sure, sweetie. What can I get for you?” Ugh, I was going to be sick. For someone who swore they were never going to have sex, she was sure good flirting to get what she wanted, because the cop was flirting back.  
  
“There was death about… oh, I dunno, I think was like… seven, maybe eight years ago.” God I hated when she played dumb blonde, it was gross, “His name was Jorg Kaulitz. All I can remember from the article I read before was that he died from alcohol poisoning. I can’t remember  _where_  though. And like I said, I need the facts. Please?”  
  
Twenty minutes later, we were out of there with the name of Tom’s hometown, and old street. Sonnie was good; I couldn’t lie, even if it was disturbing on so many levels. “Okay so lets see… we’re in Itzehoe … so or next stop is… Stralsund… street… Ravensberger.” Sonnie grinned, “Dudes, we got a three and a half hour drive ahead of us. Abbie, stop at home to grab TomTom.”


	17. Chapter 17

|| Tom’s POV ||   
  
I only had to think about it for a short while before I decided where I wanted to go. I wanted to go home. I didn’t know who lived there anymore, if anyone lived there at all. But I had to go back there. Eight years later and I had to go back. Eight years later and I still thought of that place as my home. The place where so much shit had happened to me. The place where my life started and ended. Where my mom died. My dad died. Maybe I was supposed to die there too? Would anyone even want to live there after all the shit that happened there? Of course, no one would really know what happened there, would they? I was the only person in the world who knew.  
  
Okay, strike that. One other person knew. But I was still refusing to think about Him. I wouldn’t even think His name anymore. Or picture his face. Or anything of the sort. Since  _He_  was the worst of them all. But either way, Him knowing or not, I had to go back to that house. Just to look at it one more time.   
  
I guess there was more then one good thing about being so silent no one notices you. Because when I say no one, I really mean no one. I found the train station easily enough, and my luck, there was a train leaving to Stralsund ten minutes after I got there. All I had to do was slip onto the luggage cart, easy as all hell. It was warmer in the train then it was outside anyways. I couldn’t see my breath in the cold air at least, surrounded by all the luggage. There was going to be one stop in Satow for about five minutes to pick up a few more people I’m guessing, and then straight to Stralsund. Straight home. It was going to be a five hour train ride altogether. I was okay with that; it let me get a lot of thinking done.  
  
Not that I couldn’t do that anywhere else. In fact, my mind was basically stuck on one thought the entire train ride. What was I really going to? And was it even a good idea to go there? Willow Springs didn’t have my  _old_  address, all they had was Alice’s old address. I couldn’t remember where that was; I didn’t care where that was. The only place I could think of to go. The first and only place I could call home, even if it was my own personal childhood hell.  
  
The train ride didn’t last near as long as I had hoped it would have. I knew I had to get off of it before anyone saw me. I got strange looks from people as I walked passed them at the station, my guitar slung over my shoulder.  
  
It almost surprised me as I walked away from the train station. I was so young when I left here; I hadn’t been out of Willow Springs in five or so years. But I still remembered this place. I still knew where I was going. It was like I had never left. As though I had gone on a vacation to some long lost relative and coming home. I amused myself with that idea for a while. Walking inside the house to see my mom and dad. I don’t have a clear picture of what mom looked like anymore, but I remember she had blonde hair like mine. I remember it used to tickle my face when she tucked me in at night. I remember she always smiled at me, called me her precious angel. No one had called me that since she died.   
  
Mostly, I remember her hugs and the way she smelled when she hugged me. Always like baking. Cookies, cakes, brownies. It was as if my mom had a bottle of perfume in each special flavour that I liked the most. I’m pretty sure I had loved her too. But I don’t really know what  _love_  is really like, so I can’t be sure.   
  
As I was walking past the park by my house, I tried to picture my dad. My dad before he started drinking and hurting me. He was always clean-shaven back then. His hair was darker, once he started drinking it had started to turn a salt and pepper colour. He always smelled of cigarettes and aftershave. But that was all I could remember of him before mom died. Before he started changing. Everything else about him was something I didn’t want to think of.  
  
Ravensberger. The sign looked dirty and older now, but still the same if that was possible. The houses all looked the same though; there was a group of kids playing on the lawn across the street from me. Screaming over and over again, ‘Red Rover, Red Rover!’ I remembered when I used to do that with the kids here. If I looked close enough, I could almost recognize some of the older ones. Some of them were looking at me, but I doubt they could actually recognize me. I don’t look like I did when I lived here. I’m not a little kid anymore.   
  
I was at the house almost too soon. Out of every house on the block, this one looked the oldest. The grass was unkempt and uncut. Weeds had taken over the garden and the cracks between the sidewalk. No one lived here anymore, that much was obvious. I staggered up the walkway, tripping over the bumps and cracks that I used to know perfectly. I pulled my guitar off my back and set it down on the porch before sitting down myself, putting my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. Now that I was here… I didn’t know what to do.   
  
“Are you waiting for someone or something? ‘Cause no ones lived here in like… seven years or something.” I looked up at the voice. The boy was naturally blonde and had to be around my age. I recognized his face the second I saw him. His name was Jerry; he was my best friend before I had stopped talking. Before I left this place, “Hey… You look really familiar…” Jerry said, taking a few steps closer to me and tilting his head to the side as if to get a better look at me. His eyes grew wide soon after though and his hand flew over his mouth, he knew who I was. “Tom…” he said, a breathy laugh coming from him. “Oh my god, Tom… what are you doing here?”  
  
I didn’t say anything to him, just stared, blinking a few times before looking don at my feet again. Jerry just smiled as if my silence told him everything he needed to know. He walked over to the porch and sat down next to me, a smile on his face as he waved someone over to us. “Jerry, who is this?” A girl asked. I looked up and nearly choked. Heather. Jerry, Heather, and I were inseparable in school.   
  
Jerry grinned, “You know him.” Was all he said. Heather looked at him like he was crazy; they were driving me nuts already. I wanted to punch the both of them just for being around me. I did not come back here to see them. At least, I’m pretty sure I didn’t.   
  
“Oh my god, Tom!” She squealed loudly and I winced from the sound. Fuck, she was loud. She did always get in trouble years ago for being so loud. Heather ran over to me without warning and threw both of her arms around me. “Tom, I can’t believe your back! Oh my god, we were all so sure you had died!” She cried loudly, clinging to me so tightly I was near choking. She sat herself in my lap and I glared at her, she seemed not to care. My hands were in fists holding tightly onto my pants. Jerry noticed it and bit at his lip. Was this how  _normal_  teenagers were? Sitting on the laps of near strangers and talking away and asking too many questions for me to catch a single one of them.  
  
“Heather… I think its time to get  _off_  of Tom now.” Jerry said, wrapping his arms around Heathers waist and pulling her to him instead. The way I relaxed was noticeable. “So… you still don’t talk?” Jerry asked, resting his chin on heathers shoulder as he looked at me. My silence gave him the answer.  
  
“No. He doesn’t talk. Now get away from him.” My head snapped up, and my eyes widened before I glared. What the _fuck_  was he doing here?! And how did he of ALL people find me! I know Bill didn’t live far from Willow Springs, so what the hell he was doing all the way in Stralsund made no fucking sense to me.   
  
“Oh, we weren’t bothering him,” Heather said, smiling at Bill. “We’ve known Tom forever. He was our best mate in school.” She said, pushing my shoulder playfully. “I’m Heather, and this is Jerry. Who are you?”  
  
Bill put a hand on his hip as two girls came behind him. They were scary, identical glares on Heather and Jerry. “I’m Bill,” He said, “Tom’s  _boyfriend_. And these are my best mates, Sonnie Rae, and Abigail Marie,” He said, pointing to each one respectively. “And if you don’t get away from Tom right now, I’ll sick them on you.”  
  
The one called Sonnie changed her glare to Bill a fraction of a second before the Abbie shaped one did. “Bill, we’re not dogs. Don’t talk about us like we are.” She hissed, but Bill raised his brow at her and she groaned and rolled her eyes.   
  
“Now like I was saying, beat it.” Bill sounded so… possessive. As if I really  _was_  his boyfriend. I’m nothing to Bill and Bill is nothing to me. But I couldn’t very well deny it without saying something, and that was not about to happen. My silence is coming with me forever from now on. Talking just gets me hurt.   
  
“Oooh, Jerry looks like the boyfriends got in a fight.” Heather said, grinning at Bill then at me. “Well, Tom. It was  _really_ good to see you again. We’re having a party at my house this weekend. Same place as before. You should come. And bring your boyfriend and his pets.”  
  
Sonnie and Abbie hissed at her, which didn’t help much, but it made Bill laugh some. The two walked away from us, Bill walked over to me, the girls close behind him. “Tomi… we need to talk. And you  _will_  talk to me.” I was trying to ignore him, my entire body tense. “The way I see it, you’ve got two choices. You come willingly with us so we can talk… or Sonnie and Abbie drag you to their car without a second thought.”  
  
“Oh! This just turned into a kidnap mission!” Sonnie squealed, clapping her hands together. They wouldn’t dare! I swear to god, I’d kill both of them- girls or not.   
  
“Yay! This is turning out so much better then planned, and easier. Told you we would find him Billa. Do we get to kidnap him?” Abbie asked, biting at one of her lip rings as she wrung her hands together excitedly.   
  
“Tomi, I don’t want to make them do this. Trust me… they will.” Bill said, taking my hand in his own. I absolutely hated that it felt good to have Bill holding my hand. “Will you please just come and talk to me? If after we talk you want to come back right to this very spot… we’ll bring you back. I just… I just… please Tomi…”   
  
He sounded so hopeful, so sad, and so perfect all at once. God, I hated Bill Trumper. I sighed and nodded, grabbing my Guitar as Bill and I stood up. He kept a tight hold of my hand as we walked to the girls’ car. This was going to suck. But I suppose it’s better then being forced by the scary fucking twins.


	18. Chapter 18

|| Bill’s POV ||

“We’ll be back in an hour,” Sonnie said as she and Abbie got out of the car with Tom and me to say good-bye for the time being, “But I’m not giving you guys anymore time then that. Strange towns are so not my thing and I wanna try to get home tonight.” She gave me a quick hug before Abbie pushed her away and wrapped her arms tighter around me then Sonnie had. 

“Okay, an hour,” I agreed with them, taking Tom’s hand once Abbie let me go. They waved as I dragged Tom into the restaurant and out of eyesight. Tom slumped into the corner booth after I finally let go of his hand and I sat across from him. He looked so tired, completely worn out. It actually worried me quite a bit. Tom simply didn’t look like himself. 

I reached over the table and took his hand in my own once more and Tom finally looked at me again. He had completely ignored all three of us in the car; I had started to think he wasn’t going to give me a bit of attention. “Tomi, I really am sorry I hurt you when I left,” I said quietly and his eyes just narrowed on me. “I didn’t have a choice. Lacy told my mom I was better, that it was time for me to go home.” I rubbed my thumb over the top of his hand, he was relaxing slightly. “I promised I was going to come back. Why didn’t you believe me? Why did you leave?”

Tom gulped back some before his eyes softened on me and his hand squeezed my back. “I didn’t think you were going to come back,” he admitted. It took all I could not to just swoon from his voice again. I loved the sound of Tom’s voice. “No one ever comes back when they say they do.”

“I’m not like everyone else, Tom.” I told him, using the words he had said to me before and he tilted his head at me, waiting for me to finish. “I’m better then them. I don’t mean it in this vain narcissistic way. But, I would never hurt you on purpose. I would never break a promise to you.” I told him. His shoulders relaxed some and I smiled, getting up and going over to his side of the booth and sitting next to him. 

“But you still left me,” He said, his voice sounding a little harsh, but beautiful at the same time. “You still walked away just like everyone else always has, Bill.” He frowned, looking at me now and his tongue traced over his lips in a way that made me doubt he even realized he did it, “What is there to make me think that you’re not just going to walk away again?”

I smiled at him; I knew how to answer that. “Because I tricked two of the craziest girls in the entire world into helping me find you. Because I spent three hours in a car with those same two girls and a TomTom that wouldn’t shut the hell up just because there was a chance that I could see you again. Because I would have spent forever looking for you if I had too. Because I’m in love with you, Tom.”

Tom was smiling the more I talked, though as long as I live I will never forget the look on his face when I told him that I was in love with him. It was a mixture of happiness, disbelief, shock, fear, and love all at once. But the only ones that stayed there for more then a moment or so was the love and happiness. “Do you mean that, Bill?” He asked me, his voice cracking a little. I just nodded. Tom smiled at me, his hand wrapping around the back of my neck and he pulled me close, pressing our lips together in the sweetest kiss. “I love you too, Billa.”

Fin.


End file.
